Do you negotiate with your mind? Your mind talks to you constantly…thousands of thoughts come at you every day. But do you let your mind influence your life—your actions, responses, and beliefs?
It’s hard not to let that happen. And often our mind influences doesn’t influence us for the better.
We know better…so we argue and negotiate—and usually lose. But you can stop negotiating with your mind.
Your Mind Controls You*
Not sure what I mean? Think of it this way:
When your mind says, “Eat chocolate,” you eat it. When it says, “Go to sleep,” you go to sleep. When it say, “Stay up and watch Saturday Night Live,” you stay up. When it says, “You should be angry about that,” you get angry, and when it says, “Don’t exercise; you don’t need to do that,” you respond, “Right! I don’t need to do that. I’ll just watch TV and eat potato chips.”
You Listen to the Voice of Your Mind
Do you listen to your mind’s incessant chatter…it’s voice? And then discuss…negotiate…argue? Of course, you do.
“I know I shouldn’t exercise today…,” you think.
“No need to exercise today. You worked out three times already this week…any you’re tired and have other things to do,” your mind responds.
“Well, I’ll just go for a walk today and not the gym. I’ll feel like I did something.”
“Nah…your body needs a break. Just turn on House of Cards. Relax. Rest.”
“Okay,” you say. “Maybe I’ll stretch while I watch.”
That’s a negotiation with your mind. But you lose, and your mind wins.
Become the Voice in Your Head
Every day you give your thoughts—your mind—more attention than they deserve. You allow your mind to become your voice. It’s all you hear…it sounds like you. So you allow it to speak to you—and to control you.
It’s time to stop allowing your mind to be your voice.
Why? Because it is not your voice. It’s the voice of your ego…and your mom, husband, Inner Self, father, boss, and your past experiences. It’s not you.
You need to become the voice…the voice in your head. Become conscious and present so you can choose and dictate what goes on in your mind.
Don’t Listen
Think about it…Typically your mind tells you things like:
- You’re not good enough.
- You can’t do it.
- Eat that.
- Don’t make that call.
- You shouldn’t quit your job.
- That dream is silly.
And your mind, which is a conglomeration of thoughts and beliefs given to you by others or created because of past experiences, doesn’t always have your best interest at heart. It wants to keep you in the safe comfort zone and doing the same thing you’ve always done.
Yet, you listen. You pay attention.
Stop listening. Stop paying attention.
Become the Voice in Your Head
It’s time to tell your mind you are in control…and mean it. Not only that, you need to take control of your mind.
Next time your mind say, “Eat that chocolate,” you respond, “I am the one in control. I hear you saying, ’Eat the chocolate,’ but I’m not going to eat the chocolate. I am stronger than that. I have willpower. I’m not going to do that. And…I don’t want to hear another word from you on the topic.”
Then walk away without eating the chocolate.
And when it say, “You can’t do that,” say, “That’s simply not true. I can do whatever I set my mind to doing, including not listening to your lies.”
Then do it. Prove your mind wrong. The more you do that, the less often your mind will tell you things you don’t want to hear.
An Exercise in Willpower
Controlling and ending all negotiations with your mind takes will power. And if you are like me, sometimes your willpower could be a bit stronger.
The late Stewart Wild suggested that people do weird willpower exercises, like getting up at 5 a.m. and moving rocks from one side of the yard to the other side—for no reason except to develop willpower.
On the first day you move the rocks from one side of the yard to the other. The next day you get up, and you move them back to the other side.
This is a useless activity against which your mind rebels. It screams, “Moving rocks is stupid! Go back to sleep!”
But the activity is not stupid or useless. The activity builds you willpower. You commit to moving the damn rocks, and you don’t negotiate with your mind about if you will follow through. You just follow through.
Every morning at the end of my nice, warm shower, I turn the water on as cold as it can go. Do you think it takes some willpower to stand under that stream of freezing water for 15 to 60 seconds? Of course, it does. It’s a test of my willpower (and it’s good for me), so I do it. I don’t listen to my mind when it says, “Not today…just don’t do it today.” My response: “Yes, today…and every day. F!*&%k off. I don’t want to listen to you—and I won’t.”
Control Your Mind, Control Your Results
When you stop negotiating with your mind, you achieve the results you desire. You run the show, not your mind.
Remember: Your mind wants everything to stay the same. It’s afraid of change—and afraid of you gaining control.
Stop negotiating with your mind, and you will soon gain control—over your life and your ability to succeed.
What’s the biggest negotiation you have on a regular basis with your mind?
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Make 2017 the year you take control of yourself and your life.
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Hi Nina,
Thanks for your insights and inspiration, both this morning and previously.
I don’t move rocks, but I do get up at 5:30 AM and move words – my manuscript “Through the Eyes of Astronauts.”
All the best. It’s been a pleasure to see you build a successful career and help so many people, including me, along the way.
Kirk
Awesome. Keep it up. You are moving mental rocks!