Just when things seem the worst, often they get better. I tend to push for better by focusing my thoughts on the positive, training my mind on being grateful, looking for opportunities in the challenges, taking positive action where possible, and generally doing what I create change. Even when it is hardest to feel good, I try…not always succeeding. (I admit, sometimes I wallow in my negativity.)
This week was a tough one. It began with the second death at my kids’ school in one week. It escalated with my husband and I not getting along more so than usual, my daughter judging me for not getting along with my husband, my son being asked to attend a class for those failing a subject in school, me telling a friend that I didn’t want to continue our friendship as it currently stood, and an overdraft notice from the bank. Lots of negatives.
However, speaking for myself, I plugged through. My husband and I dumped a lot of how we were feeling out virtually through emails to each other – not as good as speaking face to face but at least its communication. That’s a start. And I actually felt better afterwards. I was very sad about my friend…my longest standing and best friend…but I feel better for having spoken my truth. As for my kids, well, my daughter is trying to be more vocal and ask for what she wants. And sometimes it’s good to have your kids point out your shortcomings – even if you don’t like to look at them. It was good to have someone else “punish” my son for his failing grades instead of me, and the impact of attending that class twice a week will probably do more good than any punishment I could come up with (and I’ve tried them all already without much luck.) The overdraft notice came right after I found out that I might have a nice new client and after my husband received a promotion and a raise (something of a miracle given that his company is struggling to survive). So, the dark week ended filled with light.
And the light was the light of hope. Hope also that by continuing to focus on what I want, I can create it, and that maybe my husband will do the same. He has for quite some time lacked faith and any belief in his own power to manifest what he wants in his life. Interestingly, this week and he and his management team focused on how to make the company viable for another few months – or until the economy takes a turn for the better – he began listening to some inspirational tapes. He turned on Jack Canfield and Brian Tracy on his Ipod. Nothing too spiritual, mind you, but very practical inspirational, human potential tapes by well-known personal growth advocates and teachers. And…guess what? The promotion he’s been wanting for several years. The title he wanted six years ago but hadn’t yet received…and a little more money to go with it. And, more than that, acknowledgement that he is appreciated.
Hmmm. If he doesn’t see the signs from the universe saying, “Look! It works!” I do.
And so, I will continue on my way, plugging through the dark days or weeks and continuing to look for that glimmer of light – having faith and hope that what I desire will manifest. Knowing that if I am vigilant, and if I find a way to feel it in my heart and soul, and if I continue moving forward toward it, I will find it present in my life. And what do I ultimately want, beyond the things and goals and aspirations? Peace. Love. Connection.
That’s appropriate on Shabbat.
Good Shabbos everyone. May you find at least 25 hours of peace, love and connection. (And if you are not Jewish, you find these same things on your Sabbath, whether you celebrate it on Saturday, Sunday, or any day of the week.)