In other words, pushing against the things you want to eliminate from your life only makes it more likely they will remain there. In fact, the more you focus on the fact that you don’t want something—your marriage, your job, your current weight, your illness, your debt, or your loneliness, as examples—the more prevalent it becomes in your life.
That’s right. When you resist something, you not only cause it to persists but potentially to grow in size or impact.
Don’t Focus on What You Don’t Want
If you’ve ever studied the Law of Attraction or strategies related to conscious creation, you know that whatever you focus on expands
(another nice meme). If you focus on what you want, you attract more of it. But if you focus on what you don’t want, you also get more of that.
Everything is energy, including thoughts and emotions. When you train your thoughts on something, you vibrate energy aligned with that thing. Since like attracts like, you attract what you think about into your experience.
So, if you see something unwanted and think, “No! I don’t want that,” your energy aligns with what you don’t want. Add in a fair dose of emotion, and your energy gets amplified, which means the manifestation of what you don’t want in your life happens faster or on a more significant scale.
Think about What You Want
If you don’t believe in the Law of Attraction and think this is silly woo-woo talk, consider this scenario: You decide you want a blue Honda Accord (or whatever color, make, or model of a car), for instance. As a result, you think about that car a lot more than before you made the decision.
Suddenly, you see lots more blue Honda Accords on the road than before you decided you wanted one and began to imagine having one. Why? You are attracting them into your experience. Specifically, your thoughts, which are focused on blue Honda Accord, draw them to you.
The reason this happens is that you are vibrating energy that aligns with the car you want. You may not yet know how or when you will purchase that car, but you are beginning to bring that car into your experience.
How to Know When You are Resisting
You will know you are resisting what you don’t want; whatever it is you’d like to eliminate from your life will stick around much longer than you would like. In fact, it will seem impossible to get rid of it.
Also, you can look at your behavior to discover how you are doing everything in your power to fight against this unwanted thing. You might:
- Make it or others wrong.
- Avoid taking responsibility for your part in creating the situation or condition (blame others).
- Find yourself invested in being right or looking good.
- Talk incessantly about how much you dislike the condition or situation.
If you find yourself doing any of these things, you know it’s time to change your focus to what you want rather than what you don’t want.
How to Eliminate Your Resistance
The number one way to eliminate your resistance is to focus on what you do want. You can:
- Visualize having what you want.
- Meditate to release focus on what you don’t want.
- Talk about what you want (with no mention of what you don’t want).
- Take responsibility for any part you had in creating the unwanted situation or condition.
- Give up the need to be right about it being wrong.
Any time you find yourself yelling in frustration or anger, “NO! I do not want that!” instead imagine what you do want and yell with excitement and joy, “Yes! I want this!” Replace thoughts and spoken words about whatever is unwanted with thoughts or spoken words about what is wanted.
Don’t Resist what You Want
No matter what, give up the fight. Be at peace with what is. Stop pushing against it, and allow it to be…until you can create something different. Until then, place all your focus on what you want.
Beware: You might also resist allowing in what you want. Be sure when you stop resisting what you don’t want, you also stop resisting what you do want.
Let me know how this strategy works for you by leaving me a comment below. I know it’s not easy; I sometimes struggle to give up my resistance, too. But I know when I do, the unwanted things cease rather than persist in being part of my life.
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Photo courtesy of elwynn at Stockfresh.com.