Do you remember that old saying, “Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face?” I’ve been thinking about it lately. Typically we use it when a person does something spiteful to hurt others that also hurts himself. Yet, sometimes we don’t even know we are doing this.
I see this happening often when we let our emotions get the upper hand. Imagine that you were on a vacation and didn’t like your accommodations. The hotel is dingy and old and has no Internet. So you get really angry. And you take your anger out, first, on the person at the reception desk and then on the person traveling with you who booked the hotel. And you then let your dismal mood govern your whole day and night, basically ruining 24-hours of your vacation.
How does that help anything? You actions were not spiteful. Your anger was a striking out at others and ended up hurting you.
We do this when we get angry at our loved ones. We yell at them or pull away and refuse to give them love as a punishment. In the end, we are the ones that feel lonely. Our attempt to hurt them punishes us as well.
Each moment of our life is precious. It must be savored. We have so many wonderful experiences–and can have more if we allow them in and don’t stay stuck in negativity. We shouldn’t waste them by “cutting of our noses to spite our faces.”
What are you doing this moment, today, this week? Is it typical, special, sacred, profane? Are you at home, at work, in another country, on a trip, with friends, with strangers? Will you allow your emotions to determine if you get to enjoy the experience?
That seems an odd question, right? Of course, your emotions determine if you enjoy the experience since joy is an emotion. But you can’t enjoy something–feel joy–if you are stuck in anger, depression, spite, or some other type of negative emotion–and stuck there for some reason that really makes no sense and no difference. What will continuing to express that emotion accomplish?
Nothing.
So why not express joy instead. Or at least peace and happiness and love–or one of these. Acceptance works, too.
Keep that nose on your face. It looks good there. You need it anyway to smell the roses.
Photo courtesy of Stuart Miles | freeditigalphotos.net
