When you make a choice, do you stick with that decision? Or do you waffle? If you change your mind repeatedly, then you haven’t really decided. Or you’ve chosen to not choose.
So, how do you make a choice and stick to it? Good question, and one I grappled with recently. But I found a process that worked for me, and I’d like to share on the off chance it will work for you, too.
Stuck in Indecision
I had a big decision to make…move or don’t move. However, this decision had more…WAY more…at stake than just leaving my home and life in California behind to start anew in New Mexico.
My intuition told me to move. Period. The message was distinct and clear but made no real sense. So I questioned it. “Maybe it’s a mistake,” I thought.
Then, I returned to my initial choice. “I want to move!”
Decision made.
Not.
Something happened, and I said, “No way am I going to move.”
Basically, the choice I was making was to be indecisive. So I waffled.
One day, I would exclaim, “I feel really excited and want to move!”
The next day, I’d say, “I think I made the wrong choice. It’s a mistake.”
And I became more and more miserable.
Yes. No.
Stay. Go.
(Head in hands…frustrated…unsure…unhappy…)
Help Getting Clarity on What I Wanted
Finally, a friend reached out to me and offered to help me figure out what I really wanted. Then, I could choose that.
Using powerful questions and tapping, also known as Emotional Freedom Technique, she helped me choose. And once I had chosen, I felt so much relief.
I’ve also been happier because, not only did I choose, but I also committed to that choice. I declared, “This is my choice. I commit to my decision, and I will move forward with that choice.”
That declaration shut down the other choice. It was no longer a choice because I had made a choice.
And I relaxed into my decision. I stopped stressing, doubting, and generally making myself crazy. In fact, I began to feel confident and excited about my choice.
No Mistakes, Just New Choices
Might I have made the “wrong” decision? Nah. There are no wrong decisions…only chances to learn, grow, and make new decisions.
But you’ll never know if you made the right or wrong decision if you don’t make a choice. Once you choose, you can give that choice a chance.
If you keep wondering if one option or another is the best one for you, you’ll never find out. Instead, you’ll remain stuck in indecision with no choice made at all. From that place, you can’t experience the outcome of any alternative. For that to happen, you must choose.
Once you choose and commit to your choice, you can take aligned action. Only then will you see what happens—and if the results are desirable.
For me, choosing has been a huge relief. I still don’t know if it will end up being the right choice, but I feel better for having made it. And now, I am taking aligned, bold, clear action.
If I decide in six months or a year that I don’t want to continue choosing to align my actions with that choice, I can make a different choice. However, that doesn’t mean it was the wrong one. It was the right one at the time.
How to Finally Choose
What’s the trick to finally making a choice? Well, I could say, “Just choose.” But, really, that’s what you have to do. But let me provide a process by which you can accomplish this feat.
First, identify a decision you want or need to make but are waffling about.
Second, sit quietly with your eyes closed, and visualize having made a choice.
Third, notice how your body feels as you visualize that choice. For example, do you feel happy, sad, relieved, constricted, open, stressed, or relaxed. Pay attention to how your body, as well as your emotions, react to the choice.
Fourth, visualize the next option and notice your emotions and bodily sensations again.
Finally, choose the option that feels best.
Your body has the answers. In fact, it’s your intuition and Higher Self or soul that speak to you through your physical body. And they will guide you when asked for help with a decision.
What Do You Want?
Sometimes what we want is so hidden under our beliefs that we should, have to, need to, or are expected to do whatever we really have no idea what we want. So, answer the question my friend asked me:
What do you want—this or that? For me, the question was, What do you want—to move or not move?
When I allowed myself to respond honestly—from the heart—I knew the answer. Move.
And I cried.
Knowing what you want is a relief. And acting on that knowledge—by making a choice that aligns with what you desire—makes your soul happy.
Commit to Your Choice
Once you have chosen, commit to your choice. You can give yourself a time frame—like three, six, nine, or 12 months. Allow yourself enough time to see if your choice works out.
Sometimes, within hours you know whether it was the best choice for you. With most choices, though, it’s going to take longer to determine if the decision was a good one.
But once you’ve chosen, don’t waffle! Instead, commit to it, take aligned action, and see what happens.
If nothing else, you’re going to be happier because you made a decision. Believe me…I know this is true! And you’ll learn and grow between the time you choose and the time you make a new choice.
Are you waffling on a choice? Tell me in a comment below, and share this post with a friend who feels challenged by a decision.
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Photo courtesy of Bermix Studio.
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