As Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year came to a close on Saturday evening, the Days of Awe began. They lead us right up to the holiest day of the year, Yom Kippur, the Day of Repentance. During this time we are told to turn inward and reflect upon our words and deeds over the last year. We alsoย are ย supposed to make right our wrongs. Although we are told that our fate for the coming year has been “inscribed” in the proverbial Book of Life, we have 10 day to alter the decree. For on Yom Kippur, as the sun begins to set and the holiday ends, our fate for the year is “sealed” in the Book of Life.
Thus, these 10 days hold some import for Jews. Although, even non-Jews can take advantage of the energy of this time and look at themselves and try to heal and correct their ways and the hurt they might have caused. Especially this year, we have the opportunity to combine the energy of this holiday with the energy of heavens and use what we have healed to create something new. (See my last post.) In general, however, these 10 days provide a lovely yearly self-improvement practice.
Today, on the first Day of Awe, let’s look at our sins against other people. ย This takes us being really honest with ourselves and looking at our behavior. Have we lied? Have we somehow been dishonest? Have we treated others in ways we would not like to be treated? Did you steal from someone? Have we not reached out a hand when someone needed one? Were we not a good friend?
Today, ask yourself: How have I sinned against other people?
Then, ask yourself what you need to do to rectify these wrongs. Do you need to simply apologize? Do you need to replace what you stole? Do you need to behave in a manner befitting a better friend? Do you need to treat others more kindly and compassionately? Do you need to go feed the hungry? How can you make your actions right, by which I mean, how can you balance the scales again?
In Judaism, it isn’t enough to just say you are sorry. You have to perform a rectification. However, the apology is necessary as well. You don’t have to expect someone to accept your apology. If they don’t, though, feel free to apologize again….as long as the apology truly comes from your heart. Apologize up to three times. After that, if you have also attempted a rectification, you have done all you need to do.
If someone comes to you asking for forgiveness and you feel they are asking in a heartfelt manner, you might also consider using the Days of Awe as a time to practice forgiveness. In fact, if they ask for forgiveness three times and you deny them their request, their sin becomes yours.
That said, by holding onto old hurts and resentments, we tend to change our behavior towards others in a way that can be hurtful to them — and to ourselves. The Days of Awe present a good time to ask ourselves how we have hurt others by not forgiving them and to work on this as well.
