“If I am not for myself, then who will be for me?
And if I am only for myself, then what am I?
And if not now, when?”
~Rabbi Hillel
I went to sleep last night thinking about a friend, not much older than myself, who is facing the last days of his life. I woke today to my 51st birthday. I have possibly half my life still ahead of me.
For quite some time I’ve complained about not achieving the things I want to achieve, not doing the things I want to do, not having the things I want to have in my life. I still have a chance to create them. Others do not.
This reminded me of the three lessons Rabbi Hillel offered on how to live life: be there for yourself, be there for others, and do it now.
Rabbi Hillel said, “If I am not for myself, then who will be for me?” It is up to us to take up our own causes, to believe in ourselves, to make sure we achieve our full human potential and live our lives fully. When we die, we want to be able to say we regret little or nothing and we were our best selves…every day. Despite friends, family and coworkers, we are our best advocates and supporters. When we decide to make a change or achieve a goal, we do it. We do it for ourselves.We must be there for ourselves.
I look back over the last year. I felt so pushed to accomplish something when I hit the BIG 50. And here I am at 51 with little to show for the last year. I’ve been waiting…for others to be for me. It’s time for me to be for me.
Rabbi Hillel said, “And if I am only for myself, then what am I?” In our attempt to achieve something in this lifetime, we must focus on something other than ourselves. The greatest gift we can give is to give to others, to find our purpose and to fulfill it in the service of others. That doesn’t mean not earning money in return for giving. It doesn’t mean giving until you are empty. It simply means being willing to give. God created us as receivers of all the goodness He/She had to give. However, we eliminate the separation between Giver and receiver by becoming like God and giving as well. When we do this, we tap into the flow of abundance in the universe–which allows us to continue giving.
I know I have a purpose. I know there is more to my life–in the past and in the future–than being only for myself. I can be more than that. I am more than that. I will become more than that. I will be there for others in my actions, through my work, in my thoughts and prayers.
“If not now, when?” asks Hillel. Ah, the important question. Apply it to anything. When will I do what I said I would do? When will I finish reading the books I’ve started? When will I change my habits? When will I improve my relationships? When will I earn more money? When will I take time for me? When will I spend more time with my kids? When will I relax? When will I find joy? When will I create a friend? When will I pursue my dreams?
Kevin Eikenberry asks this question in his recent blog post.
We can wait. But it’s a risk. Like my friend, we could discover we have only six weeks or six months left to live. Then we might die realizing we lived only for ourselves. In the process, maybe no one will be for us…and we will be alone. There may be no “when” to consider. Now may be a short-term endeavor.
Now becomes the answer…the only answer. Everything goes on the to-do list not to be forgotten. Well, maybe everything can’t be done now, but we can each take out our calendar and place the important things on it–even free time for ourselves. We should. We must.
Will you do it…whatever it is…now? I’m starting today. I’ll stop complaining. (That doesn’t help, but rather hinder, anyway.) I’ll start doing. I’ll start living fully in whatever way I can.
I ‘ll be for me. I’ll be for others. I’ll do it now.
Rabbi Hillel may have lived a long time ago, but his lessons are still applicable today–and to anyone from any religion. We see his words quoted by many. Put them to use in your life today, as will in mine.
Nina:
Thanks for insightful comments which I am sure will provide counsel to many. When you are battling your daily challenges, very easy to feel you are just “chasing windmills” and not accomplishing much nor achieving your goals. Good counsel here on need to step back, catch your breath, and think about both what you really have and what you want to accomplish. While obviously this applies to writing and business areas, good lessons here for life and developing your bucket list and what you want to do In your ” next 50 years” as you say. Thanks again
Paul B. Silverman is Managing Partner of The Gemini Business Group, LLC, a new venture development firm dedicated to helping global entrepreneurs succeed (www.geminibusinessgroup.com) . He writes and speaks about entrepreneurship, healthcare, analytics, and strategy management and is author of “8 Building Blocks To Launch, Manage, And Grow A Successful Business.” See blog at http://www.paulbsilverman.com/blog