The Living Fully Challenge
12 Months to a Fully-Lived Life
Introduction
What does living your life fully mean to you? Do you know? Can you describe it in words? Can you imagine what it would it look like?
Most of us don’t really know what living our lives fully means to us. We have trouble describing it or imagining it. Why? For the same reason we don’t actually live our lives fully. We are too afraid, too depressed, too insecure. We think we don’t have enough money, confidence, time. We don’t feel worthy enough, smart enough, loveable enough. We don’t even want to imagine a fully-lived life, because we think we’ll feel too horrible when we realize we aren’t (and haven’t been) living our life fully - and that we don’t think we can live our lives fully. We have lots of reasons for not living our lives to the fullest extent possible, and we convince ourselves they constitute good reasons to continue simply existing - surviving even - rather than really living.
We allow the way we feel and the beliefs we have about ourselves, as well as the feelings and perceptions we have about our current lives, to stop us from doing the things that constitute living fully. We allow our current situation - the reality we perceive about our lives - to prevent us from moving toward things, actions, experiences, and goals that make up a life lived to the fullest extent possible.
Some of us truly may have conditions in our lives that seemingly don’t allow us to live life fully. We may not have the money right now to take that trip to Hawaii, or we might have braces on our legs that prevent us from hiking to the top of Mt. Everest, or we might be so shy that meeting and speaking to anyone, let alone our soul mate, is impossible. We may be suffering from an incurable disease or struggling from the affects of a natural disaster. Any number of issues may plague us. However, no matter our circumstances, we can live our lives fully.
We can find ways to achieve our goals, make our dreams come true, do the things we dream of doing, have the experiences we desire despite the reality of our situation. If we have to wait for, or if we can’t have, the things we believe constitute a fully-lived life, we can choose to be happy, fulfilled and at peace in the meantime. We can focus our energy and attention on the hundreds of other small, simple ways in which we can live our lives fully each and every day. By so doing, we begin living our lives to the fullest extent possible despite any setbacks, disappointments or delays along the way to our fully-lived life.
This doesn’t mean giving up on those bigger aspects of a fully-lived life. It just means not stopping ourselves from living fully in the meantime or despite the fact that we may not manage to do or to have all the things we think make up our individual fully lived lives. The goal lies in living fully (or as fully as possible) now, in this moment. We want to learn to live fully every day no matter our circumstances. For life is lived one moment at a time. Each moment should be enjoyed and relished and experienced for all the wonderful gifts it has to offer. We should feel awe for every moment we are alive. Indeed, God exists in each moment. Each breath we take represents a miracle if we see it as such.
By opening our eyes to the miracles of life and to the Divine in everything, by changing our focus from what we don’t yet have in our lives or aren’t yet doing in our lives that would make us feel as if we are living fully to what we are doing now or can do now that would allow us to begin living fully in each and every moment and in every day of our lives, we begin living fully. More simply said, we must begin living fully now in whatever small or large way we can.
That’s what this challenge is all about. It’s about finding small, medium and large ways to live our lives fully right now. By each month completing two assignments - applying small tasks that allow us to live fully in a variety of areas of our life, over the course of a year we will find ourselves living our lives more fully across the board.
What Does A Fully-Lived Life “Look” Like?
Most of us don’t have any idea what it really means to live our lives fully. We don’t really live them fully, so we don’t know what this term means or what doing so would look like. Thus, we have trouble describing a fully-lived life or imagining a life lived to the fullest extent.
I picture a fully-lived life for myself with myself possessing the ability to be fully realized, meaning able to accomplish my fullest potential in all areas of life. That means that I should be able to achieve a good relationship with myself, my family and a significant other. I should be able to acquire a strong financial status. I should have enough free time, and in that free time I should be doing really enjoyable things on a regular basis. I also should be taking care of my health and staying in shape and doing this in a way that feels good to me and that is fun and interesting. My work or career should feel “on purpose,” by which I mean it should come out of my soul’s purpose utilizing my unique talents and gifts and abilities, or, at least, my work should be of service to others in some way. My work should feel fulfilling and energizing and make me happy. Additionally, I should have the time and ability to purse a spiritual path as well as friendships and continuing education. And I should feel prosperous and abundant enough in terms of time and money - or simply in attitude - to give to charity and to help care for or heal the Earth or help transform the consciousness of humanity. Also, I should approach all my commitments and responsibilities in a way that feels good to me and that brings me joy.
Overall, my goals should feel worthy of me and should be aligned with my deepest soul’s purpose and heart’s desire. My activities should follow suit. I should feel enlivened by all that I do, and all that I do should involve a path of heart that takes me below the surface of day to day living and connects me to my soul and to my soul’s purpose - and to God.
If I am living my life fully, I will be diving deeply into every facet of life and coming up feeling breathless with the excitement and pure joy of the experience of life. That, to me, constitutes living fully.
What Does NOT Living Your Life Fully Cost You?
Each time we choose not to live fully we give up something. There’s a cost.
So, if really living fully means, for example, writing a book, but you choose not to write it, what’s the cost? You never become a published author. If living fully means having a child, and you decide to put it off until you have more money in the bank, what’s the cost? You don’t become a parent . . . at least not yet . . . or maybe ever. If living fully means running in a marathon, but you don’t train for it because you don’t have the time, what’s the cost? You might never run in the marathon, because next week you might fall and break your leg in such a way that you can never run again.
You never know what tomorrow will bring. You have to live like Don Juan, the character in author Carlos Castanada’s books, taught: with death on your shoulder. In other words, you have to live as if you might die tomorrow. That’s when you really begin living. I don’t mean that in a morbid way. I just mean, stop waiting for the perfect moment to do what you want to do. The perfect moment might never arrive.
Many cancer patients who survive their illness say getting cancer was the best thing that happened to them, not because they enjoyed having cancer but because it caused them to stop being complacent about their life and begin really living. Instead of waiting to do the things they really wanted to do or that were important to them, they simply did them.
So, each time you are thinking about not doing something you want to do, ask yourself, what will it cost me? On what will I be missing out? Will I be living fully if I don’t do that?
The Benefits of Living Your Life to the Fullest Extent
If you begin taking action to live your life more fully right now in the present moment, you immediately will begin realizing the benefits. You will get to feel more fully alive. You will get to be who you really can be and to enjoy every aspect of your life. You will get to live to your fullest potential. You will get to realize your human potential. When you begin living your life fully right now, you stop waiting for life to happen to you, and you allow yourself to make life happen. You take advantage of what life has to offer.
Living in this manner allows you to create your life the way you want it to be and to stop being a victim of life. You take responsibility for your life, and therefore, start making clear choices about what you want and don’t want in your life and what you want and don’t want to be doing in your life. In the process, you become happier, healthier, more fulfilled, peaceful, and self-realized. Those are some pretty good reasons to begin living your life more fully to whatever extent possible.
Teaching What I Most Need to Learn
Although for years I’ve said that my writing and work in general revolved around the concept of living fully, I began working with, writing about and offering the Living Fully Challenge via my website when I realized I wasn’t living fully myself. And often I still don’t.
As I put together the program month by month, I actually received the chance to closely look at how I don’t live my life fully and how I can. I’ve examined what it costs me to not live fully and what I miss out on when I don’t live fully. I’ve also looked at the reasons why I don’t live fully. (Not all of them are the ones I thought they were.) So, this challenge represents a case, pure and simple, of teaching what I need most to learn.
For instance, last year I didn’t write a blog post for four whole weeks, because I didn’t have a minute free. Literally. I was so bogged down with work and travel and family issues I didn’t have one minute for anything. The house was a mess. The yard was a mess. I gave up exercising for nine months. Actually, I stopped riding my bike when my hands began bothering me, because I was spending too many hours at the computer working every day. I never even sat down to watch a television show, movie or the news. The cat gave up on having a lap to sit on at night for even an hour. I started about four books and never got past the first chapter.
It was terrible. My life was totally out of balance. I wasn’t living fully in the least . . . well, maybe when it came to work. In that area of my life I was getting a lot done, and I was focused and on purpose. Everything else, however, was falling by the wayside . . . my relationships, my home, my kids, my health. I didn’t feel happy, fulfilled or energized. In fact, I felt the opposite on all counts.
Living fully was, and continues to be, a constant lesson for me. Often I still don’t practice what I preach, but I’m trying to do so more and more. It isn’t always easy. Some days I simply take baby steps. Living fully constitutes a process, but I highly recommend taking the steps and starting the process. Each time you do, your life gets a bit better and you move a little closer to realizing your full potential and living your life more fully. And that’s the goal.
What It Takes To Begin Living Fully Now
In general, you can start finding ways to achieve your goals, make your dreams come true, do the things you dream of doing, and have the experiences you desire despite the reality of your situation. If you have to wait for, or if you can’t have, the things you believe constitute a full-lived life, you can choose to be happy, fulfilled, and at peace in the present moment anyway. You can be grateful for what you have, think positive instead of negative thoughts, make conscious choices, and take inspired action. You can focus your energy and attention on the hundreds of small, simple ways in which you can live your life fully each and every day. By so doing, you begin living your lives to the fullest extent possible despite any setbacks, disappointments or delays along the way to your fully-lived life.
Then, of course, there are more specific things we can do. You can:
1. Have fun. Take a look at all the different areas of your life and find a way to have fun in them. This includes even the hardest areas, like finance, work, and health and fitness. Find some way to do something enjoyable in that area or approach that area of your life in a new and enjoyable manner.
2. Change a negative thought to a positive one. Look at all the areas of your life and discern what negative thoughts you have about each area. Maybe your thought in the area of finance is “I never have enough money.” Change that thought to, “I always have an abundance of money.” Then repeat these positive affirmations on a regular basis, in the morning when you get up and at night when you go to sleep and during the day, if possible - especially if your negative thought rears its head.
3. Make conscious choices about what you want and don’t want in your life. Life constantly presents us with contrast, with duality. We are faced with things we like or dislike, want or don’t want, but much of the time we don’t’ make conscious choices that really state our preferences. Thus, we end up with lots of things in our lives that aren’t exactly what we desire. That’s why we end up not liking our lives. Look at your life – and all the areas of your life – and make some conscious choices about what you want and don’t want.
4. Start making conscious changes. Start cleaning house. Get rid of the things you don’t want, if you can, or make plans to get rid of them. Then, start replacing them with the things you do want . . . or make plans to do so. For example, if you don’t want your current job, you may not want to just throw it away – or quit. You might want to start looking for a new job first. If your relationship isn’t the right one for you anymore, though, you can decide to choose out of it and to choose to find a new one.
5. Do something you have always wanted to do. Make a list of five or ten things you’ve wanted to do but haven’t done. Pick the ones you can do right now, and start checking them off the list. The ones that take some planning, start planning for them right now. If you have to save money, start saving, but put these things on your radar. And in the meantime, do other things you want to do - even if they are small things like spending time reading a book that you’ve always wanted to read, or going to the beach for a walk each week, or taking a trip to your local tourist spot, or going on a trip to visit a relative. As Nike says, “Just do it.” Do it now.
When Our Lives Seem Too Full (Too Busy) to Live Fully
Sometimes it feels as if we are living our lives fully, because we are so busy. However, we have to ask ourselves if we simply are overly busy or actually living fully.
If we are living our lives so fully that that’s all we are doing – living fully, that’s phenomenal. If, on the other hand, we are too busy to live fully, then we have a problem. We are out of balance and not able to really live our lives.
When that happens, the first thing we first must become conscious that we aren’t living fully because our lives are too full. We tend to really pack our lives with activities and things to do, and they aren’t always things we want to do. We don’t always leave time for the important things or the things that are important to us.
When this happens, first, we need to stop and look at our lives. We need to ask ourselves, “Is my life too full to live fully? Am I doing too much? Is what I’m doing what I want to be doing?” If your life is full of things you want to be doing, and that’s what keeps you busy, great. If it isn’t, then you need to start making conscious choices. Ask yourself, “What do I prefer to have in my life? What am I able to cut out, and what can I put in its place?” How can I find balance? How can I create balance?” You might actually have to schedule in the things that will help you start living your life fully.
All of this takes work and commitment . . . and sometimes you have to inconvenience other people in your lives, forcing them to look at their lives, too. Sometimes a whole family will have to look at how they are living their lives and reorganize together so they can all live more fully. Sometimes you have to say, “No,” to your kids or ask your spouse to do something so you can do something you want to do or you have to cut back on charity work to do something for yourself. You get the idea.
And sometimes you have to ask yourself why you allow yourself to get so busy. Do you do so because you are afraid to not be busy? What would happen if you weren’t busy? Might you have to face yourself? Might you have to look at what you have been missing? Yes, you might have to look at what it has cost you not to live fully. Worse yet, you might have to actually start living your life fully. (You might need to create change.)
Sometimes living fully means just getting quiet, taking time off, doing nothing. It’s about balance and figuring out what it means to live a fully realized life, to live a life to its fullest potential in all ways, shapes and forms. It means being busy doing the things that are most important to you.
While you can begin living your life more fully simply by utilizing the tips I offered earlier, a more systematic and long-term approach to the process seems to accomplish better results. Plus, this type of change is, as I said, a process. Processes take time. Also, humans tend to function well when given clear instructions, deadlines or action points. I know I do. We also want to create lasting change, and that usually doesn’t happen over night. It comes with those baby steps I mentioned earlier.
That’s why I set up the Living Fully Challenge as a year-long program. By following the month-by-month assignments you can be “in process” for a period of time, see the results mounting over time and create lasting change.
