Today I learned that Reb Meshullam Zalman Hiyyeh Schachter-Shalomi, the founder of the Jewish Renewal movement, passed from this earth plane to another realm. My feelings about Judaism and my approach to Jewish practice and observance have been profoundly affected by the Jewish Renewal movement, and, therefore, by Reb Zalman. Yet, I only once sat in a room with him at an Aleph Kallah and had the honor of receiving his words of wisdom.
I remember that night. I soaked up his words. For the longest time I had some of them pinned near my desk. I looked for that note tonight for about 30 minutes, to no avail. But I still remember a few: Find a teacher. Find a friend. Sounds so simple. I know I have my notebook somewhere. Tomorrow I’ll look again… He spoke for a long time. His words were a download of information. And we all sat and received as he reprogrammed our personal computers.
At that same event, I watched him beaming from ear to ear as he listened to the first performance of the Kallah gospel choir. (In fact, I couldn’t take my eyes off of him.) That choir and their repertory could have been seen as so “wrong” in a Jewish gathering by any other rabbi, and yet, he was thrilled with everything they sang and did! He loved it as much as the rest of us. He accepted it—embraced it—as yet another way to joyously and meaningfully renew our religion, to raise our spirits and allow us to connect with God.
For years I’ve wished to learn from Reb Zalman. I’ve wanted to write books and get them in front of his eyes. I know people who have had “access” to him and received acknowledgement from him in different forms…and I wanted that even for a moment.
I’ve missed that opportunity.
Why We Miss Opportunities
Have you, like me, missed such opportunities? Be honest. You know if you wanted something badly enough, you’d make it happen. So would I. I always do.
I simply didn’t make this opportunity happen. I didn’t spend the time or the money to attend one of the events that would have allowed me to experience Reb Zalman again or to meet him personally. My desire must not have been great enough, which really is the truth of many missed opportunities. We say we want something, but we don’t want it badly enough to do something about it. And then the chance passes—forever.
My attention and my energy were focused elsewhere. I had other priorities. I allowed fear about money to stop me. I had excuses.
In the end, I just didn’t want it badly enough.
Why didn’t I get the books written in time? I worked on other projects despite my passion, despite my calling, to write those that were on topics related to spirituality. Why? I got distracted by the need to make a living and I took the advice of others. Was that a mistake? Not necessarily. But it was a choice I made. Again, I chose my priorities. I made my decisions based on that.
I did not, however, listen to my intuition. I didn’t trust. I didn’t act when I knew, deep inside, that I should. I didn’t heed my own inner guidance.
How to Create New Opportunities
What do you do when you miss those opportunities—for whatever reasons? I suggest that you do the next best thing. You do the closest thing you can to what you wish you had done. You try to create an opportunity “like that” for yourself.
No, I can’t learn from Reb Zalman. I can read his books. I can learn from those who were his students. I can write the books I wish he had seen while he was alive so I can bring that message, which I think he would have appreciated, into the world.
I also can use him as a role model and a mentor even now, after his death. Some might say, “A bit late, Nina, don’t you think?” Not necessarily.
Consider this: Many indigenous religions have a tradition of calling on their ancestors for wisdom and strength. Even some modern people have used this same basic approach when they want to learn from those who have passed on. Take, for example, Napoleon Hill, author of the classic motivational book Think and Grow Rich. In this book he reveals that “every night over a long period of years,” he “held an imaginary council meeting” with a group he called the Invisible Counselors. Who were these people? Ralph Waldo Emerson, Abraham Lincoln, Henry Ford, Napoleon, and Thomas Edison—all dead. Hill says, “Just before going to sleep at night, I would shut my eyes and see, in my imagination, this group of men seated with me around my council table…here I had the opportunity to sit among those whom I considered to be great…(I) called on my cabinet members for the knowledge I wished each to contribute.”
Marketing expert and bestselling author Seth Godin encourages people to find a spiritual mentor. He calls these heroes. According to Godin, mentors can be anyone, living or dead, whose example we want to live up to and to honor, “even if we never meet them, even if they’ve passed away.” He says, ”I find heroes everywhere I look. I find people who speak to me over my shoulder, virtual muses, who encourage me to solve a problem or deal with a situation the way they would. This is thrilling news, because there are so many heroes, so freely available, whenever we need them.”
Live While You are Alive
The other lesson I take away from this is simple and an adage you’ve heard before: Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today. I’ve hard bestselling author Wayne Dyer say it this way: “Don’t die with your song still in you.” Let me put my own spin on it: Live while you are alive.
You know when you are being presented with an opportunity. You feel it. Someone asks you to do something and you feel a twinge of excitement. A class is offered and a little voice tells you to take it. You hear about a retreat and you can’t stop thinking about it. You get an idea and it keeps pestering you to do something about it.
Pay attention. Opportunities present themselves all the time.
I could have hopped a ride not long ago with some folks to an event with Reb Zalman in Oregon. I didn’t bother. But I thought about it. I felt the inner stirring… I should have acted. A missed opportunity.
What are you ideas about missed opportunities?
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