Monday Inspiration: Choose How You Show Up

Do you believe you can’t change your life because you can’t change your character? Do you feel stuck with your weaknesses—and your strengths—and do you believe that, because of this, you can’t achieve your goals? In fact, you have the ability to change your character or character traits. You can choose how to show up in the world.

That means you intentionally can choose your strengths and weaknesses. You can decide who you are or who you will become, and this includes what character traits you demonstrate.

You Decide Who You Are

Describe yourself. What three words best define who you are in this moment? Are you motivated, passionate, courageous or present, energetic, and joyous? Or are you lazy, dispassionate, fearful or distracted, tired, and depressed?

If you had a choice, how would you like to describe yourself?

In fact, you have a choice. You can decide at any moment to become the person you want to be or believe you are meant to be. You can intentionally set out to become this person.

For example, if you feel you lack courage, but you would love to be more daring, you can intentionally choose to be a courageous person. Then you can show up as that person.

Act As If

You could call this “acting as if.” You decide to be courageous, and you act as if you are a courageous person until you become a courageous person.

Some might say you have decided to “fake it ‘till you make it.” That would be true, too.

Either way, you decide who you are or become.

Now, some people might criticize you for actually faking who you are. When I first described this process to someone close to me, he said he would feel he wasn’t behaving honestly. He’d be showing up as someone he wasn’t, lying about the “real” person behind the chosen words.

Don’t buy into this argument! It’s okay to fake it for a while. That’s how you develop habits, and character traits often are just that—habits or habitual ways of behaving.

Think of it this way: If you want to be a patient person, you have to practice patience. So, if you remind yourself three or more times a day that you want to behave patiently and be a patient person, eventually patience will become habitual behavior for you. It will become a personality trait. You will become patient.

That’s not lying about your character or trying to be someone you are not. You are intentionally setting out to become the person you desire to become—to improve yourself and your character.

How Will You Show Up?

Are you ready to get unstuck? Are you ready to become a person who demonstrates character traits you value and desire? In this moment, choose to become your best self.

To do so, describe your best self with three carefully-chosen words. Take a moment to write down the reason you chose these words.

Then place those words in a reminder on your phone and on sticky notes at your desk, on the mirror in your bathroom or on the dashboard of your car. Remind yourself regularly—hourly or several times per day—that you possess these qualities.

For example, not long ago I chose these words to describe my best self:

• Passionate
• Purposeful
• Daring

I chose them because:

• I want to feel passionate about everything I do in my life, whether that involves work, relationship, health, or fun.
• I want to fulfill my purpose in this lifetime. To do that, I must be “on purpose” with everything I do.
• I never want to let fear stop me from doing what I desire or going after my goals. I felt being daring had a more positive connotation than being courageous.

Three times a day, my phone (or my computer) reminds me of these words. At that time, I stop and ask myself or evaluate if I am, in that moment, expressing those character traits in whatever I’m doing. If I am not, then I know I need to increase my focus on those words and consciously use them in my daily actions.

You can choose new words at any time. In fact, you could change your words monthly or quarterly, cycling through different character traits you’d like to possess. It’s best to develop proficiency with them before you choose new ones, though.

As time goes on, you’ll develop the traits you choose. They will become part of your character. You no longer will feel stuck or unable to achieve your goals. You won’t hold yourself back.

How do you choose to show up? Tell me your three “best-self” words in a comment below.