Pushy, Pushy, Pushy

Today I got really upset when another mother got really push about trying to get something to go her way. It’s a long story not totally worth going into. The short story goes like this: My daughter signed up for a new synchronized swim team that is just forming. Some other girls have decided to join the team. This one particular mom has decided she needs to push to make sure the team turns out the way she thinks it needs to turn out to be best forย her daughter. She’s even decided to start making decisions and doing “things” before the coaches can get involved. I got pissed off at her pushiness.

All this to say: Life is a mirror. I’ve been pushy before, too. In fact, sometimes I’m still pushy…probably more often than I should. I don’t let people lead when they are perfectly able. I step on their toes. I try to influence their decisions so they will go my way or the way I think they should go. And these are all things I put in a letter to this mom (and the other parents), when I said, “Give the coaches a chance.”

How often have you pushed hard to get what you wanted instead of just sitting back and allowing it to happen? More often than not if we just voice our desires, focus upon them, believe that it is all working out for the best, that’s exactly what happens.

I am all too familiar with that feeling of wanting to force things to be a certain way — which is what this woman was doing today. I could feel exactly what she was feeling, and it made me cringe. It made me want to have nothing to do with her. It made me want to protect the very young coaches. It made me want to run away.

What a picture to see in the mirror, a picture that I’m glad today was not actually myself but someone else.

And what a lesson to remember: Don’t push. Just focus on what you want and sit back and relax. Allow what you want to come to you in its own way and time.

When you push, sometimes you push what you want away. And when you are pushy, you definitely push people away!

2 thoughts on “Pushy, Pushy, Pushy”

  1. I completely agree with you, Nina. Being pushy serves no benefit and does alienate us from others. As you have correctly identified, we must learn to focus more on our goals and try to achieve them instead of forcing specific outcomes in our lives. Thanks for the great reminder.

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