Reflections on Death, Dying, Afterlife, and Reincarnation

This past weekend I attended a memorial for a friend’s wife. I recently wrote about Tofah’s passing in another blog post. The memorial provided a truly beautiful testimonial to a life well lived, and I was struck not only by the good she had done in the world but by the lovely lessons she and her husband had taught our community during her illness and death.

Tofah taught all of us how to die. She approached her end time with such dignity and acceptance. Although she tried alternative medicine to treat her brain cancer, she didn’t fight the inevitable. Rather from what I could tell from the beautiful writings her husband, Jay, shared on her Care Pages, she relaxed into the process. She invited in her angels and guides and focused on the spiritual plane that would soon encompass her. And she died with her husband by her side reciting the names of God to her. In the background, people were chanting and singing, as they had much of the time she had been ill.

Why do most of us run away from death? Are we so afraid of what lies on the other side of this physical plane, so afraid to see the place from whence we came?

I can’t say that I won’t have fear when my time comes, but intellectually I know that my soul will live on. I know that the spiritual plane has to be an easier, more peaceful place to be than this physical earth plane. I know that I will finally truly experience oneness with my Creator again.

So, why fear? Yet, we do. Maybe it’s just a fear of the unknown. But Tofah knew that spiritual realm. For her, I believe it was not unknown. And, therein, lies the key. To make the unknown known prior to the time of passing.

Possibly we also harbor a fear of leaving behind the known, just as those of us left behind fear being left behind. I felt such awe for Jay, who never ran away, never seemed to balk, but rather stayed by Tofah’s side every moment. Many a good man or woman has been known to run away – from the pain, the reality, the emotions – from the side of a dying loved one. Jay taaught us how to help a loved one die.

It’s hard to be without those we love, to not feel their physical presence any longer. For those who leave us, I can’t imagine they feel that pain. I think they stay close by, at least for a while, lingering near those they love. Yet, maybe it’s hard to not be able to communicate, to have someone you love feel your touch.

Once or twice I’ve had someone who passed communicate with me. My daughter, too, has had someone who passed come to her in a dream. So, I know it is possible. But it doesn’t happen often, unless you are a medium. I’m not. Or maybe I’m just an occasional one.

I’ve often wished my father, who died when I was just seven, would communicate with me in some way. I’ve had the same desire of my friend, Bill, who died just before my daughter was born. Then again, I’ve sometimes wondered if he didn’t reincarnate into the body of one of my children…in which case, he communicates with me often, I just don’t know it.

And that’s a whole different discussion, a different experience…when you look into someone’s eyes and you could swear you know them from somewhere, sometime. They seem just so familiar, like a friend or lover you lost long ago.

If you don’t believe in a spiritual realm, life after death, that our souls live on or that they come back in new bodies, watch this video. It might change your mind.

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