Earlier this month I mentioned that I had turned fifty. I also mentioned in an earlier post that a few friends had helped me with a secular–or maybe “spiritual”–life-cycle ritual down at the ocean. This past weekend I had the opportunity to participate in a second and final ritual to mark my fiftieth birthday. In this case, the life-cycle event was created by one of my Jewish friends and my Jewish renewal friends were invited. The ritual was called simchat chochmah, which is translated as “joy of wisdom” or “rejoicing in wisdom.”
Although this ritual has a history within Judaism, it’s been hidden away, forgotten and revived only in recent years. The idea is simple: Celebrate a woman not aging but saging–becoming wise. In fact, the wisdom that comes with age should bring satisfaction, peace, fulfillment, and happiness.
My ritual was quite simple. My friend, Michelle, began with us all singing the words, “Let us sing the soul in every name and the name of every soul.” Then we recited a blessing for becoming a woman of wisdom.ย We proceeded to chant a variety of phrases and to read different poems and prayers, all of which related to women coming together in circle, wise women, souls connecting, wisdom shared, and female ancestors called upon.
We also focused upon names–their meaning and importance. Several Jewish folk traditions suggests that a person’s “true” name is assigned before conception. This comes from Jeremiah 1:5: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.” I’ve heard it said that finding your sacred name has less to do with what you think your name should be and more to do with “listening for” or paying attention to that original name. Your name has a vibration you should recognize when you hear it. It should feel familiar, comfortable. It should fit like a glove, resonate with you in some way.
Much like my ancestors in the Torah who changed their names at momentous times, I, too, was asked to change my name during the simchat chochmah ritual. I wasn’t sure what Hebrew name to choose. In fact, I was never given a Hebrew name at birth. Some years ago when I discovered I needed one if I was called to the Torah for some reason, I gave myself one. I chose it carefully; I didn’t not listen for it. I picked Nehara. It means “light.” I liked the meaning, and I wanted a name that began with “N” as well. I haven’t used it much.
When my friend, Michelle, asked me for a name, I didn’t know how to answer. I needed a name that somehow represented who I would become in the years ahead. I needed a name that symbolized the coming period. I couldn’t think of one name, so I simply told her about what this next period in my life meant to me.
“I feel compelled to fulfill my soul’s purpose,” I told her. “Of course, that has to do with my writing and teaching and speaking. I feel that most of what I do revolves around helping people live their lives fully in all area, connect with God and connect with their own soul’s purpose. I have my different books I’m writing…one on Kabbalah and conscious creation, which has an element of connecting with God. There’ another on kohanot (priestesses) and creating sacred spaces and inviting the Divine into them. And there are my books on writing…and more. If I finish them, publish them and go out and speak and teach on these topics, I’ll do what I’m meant to do here on Earth. But I feel pressured at this point to get it done already. I feel I have not fulfilled my soul’s purpose. I’ve started a lot of things and not finished. I need to do what I set out to do.”
Michelle took notes and then said, “I’m going to call Reb Leah.” Reb Leah Novick is a friend and mentor of mine. She’s also and author and our local female spiritual and ritual leader as well as a very well-respected rabbi in the Jewish renewal world at large. “She’ll know what name to give you,” said Michelle.
In a very uncharacteristic manner, I released this decision to Reb Leah. I would accept whatever name she gave me.
Michelle called me back 30 minutes later. “How would you like the name Kohenet?” she asked.
“Is that a name or a title?” I responded confused. Normally kohenet means “priestess.” I thought of it as a title, especially since one of my books, and one of my published booklets, was about how to become a kohenet.
“Leah suggested it as a name. Would you like it?”
How could I refuse, especially when my book about priestesses had been the first one I ever started–and the one I’d recently been thinking of returning to writing?
So, during my simchat chochmah cerem0ny I went into a make-shift mikvah (a hot tub) and was given my new name: Nina Kohenet. The women in attendance repeated it to me. I repeated it back. Then they held up their hands and blessed me silently. I dunked myself under three times, repeating the Sh’ma each time, as they chanted a prayer. When I came up, they told me the visions they’d seen as they blessed me silently, and they blessed me not only with those beautiful visions but with their words as well.
This ceremony, although attended by just a few people, really marked this transition into my saging years perfectly. The visions held by these women were beautiful…visions of me going out and accomplishing exactly what I want to accomplishing–of being a powerful, wise, beacon of light (Nehara) in the world and of becoming what my new name describes–a priestess. Their visions showed me sharing my wisdom with others–fulfilling my soul’s purpose.
Earlier in the ritual they sang to me a prayer normally not sung to a person at all. The prayer, L’chi Lach, had been translated as “Go! Take Yourself.” Normally the words are translated as “go to yourself.” What a moving experience to hear these words sung to me: L’chi lach (feminine-take yourself) to a land that I will show you, Leich lacha (masculine-take yourself) to a place you do not know. L’chi lach (feminine-take yourself) on a journey I will bless you, and you shall be a blessing… L’chi lach (feminine-take yourself), and I shall make your name great. Leich lacha (masculine-take yourself), and all shall praise your name. L’chi lach (feminine-take yourself), to the place that I will show you. L’simchat chayim (To rejoicing in life), l’chi lach. (This prayer–without the translation of l’chi lach/leich lecha–was written by Debbie Friedman.)
In Genesis 17:15-16,ย Sarai changes her name to Sarah. She starts a new phase of her life as a mother after discovering she will give birth to a baby at the age of 100. She becomes a new person with a new mission, with new hope, with new promises from God. She gains new faith in God’s ability to fulfill these promises.
I, too, am beginning a new phase. Not so much a new person with a new mission, I do have new hope and new faith in my own ability to co-create my life in such a way that I fulfill my soul’s purpose–the promise I made to God, the agreement I made with God, about what I would do with my time as a soul in a physical body during this life time.
And while my new name gives me pause–feels bigger than me, I’m told that it should. I’m told it should be a name to grow into. That’s what I plan to do. However, I won’t wait another 50 years to do so. And I hope I’ll also take myself (l’chi lach) to a life God will, indeed, bless with happiness, fulfillment and peace.
