Are you waiting for permission to follow your dreams, do your life’s work, follow your intuition, or go for your goals? That’s a common habit that can hold you back from living your best life.
You might think you need permission from your parents, your spouse, your children, or your boss. You may believe the power to give you permission lies with some authority, a certification program, your past self, or your future self.
Here’s the truth: you can give yourself permission. Stop waiting for external approval, and unlock your personal power and freedom to make decisions confidently, move forward at will, and live authentically.
Why You Seek Permission
Many people delay action because they believe they need approval from someone else. Or they are afraid of the ramifications of moving forward without approval.
If you are such a person, you don’t subscribe to the advice to “seek forgiveness, not approval.” If you did, you’d act on what you believe is right, even if it means going against rules or expectations, and then apologize later if necessary. However, waiting for permission means you could potentially miss an opportunity or move forward toward your goals and dreams slowly, if at all.
The typical reasons that people seek permission include:
- Respect for boundaries: You want to ensure others feel comfortable or that you don’t overstep in any way. For instance, you might need to ask permission before entering someone’s property or touching them physically.
- Avoiding conflict: You want to steer clear of disagreements—even if that means not asking for what you want or waiting to take action.
- Fear of consequences: You are concerned about negative results, rejection, disapproval, or conflict, and avoid the possibility by waiting for permission.
- Need for social or external validation: You want others to confirm you’re making the right choice. Their permission ensures that outcome and makes you feel confident. It also stops you from doubting your own decision-making ability.
- Ensuring safety: Sometimes it’s wise to wait for permission to ensure actions are safe. This is especially true when something could be physically dangerous.
- Maintaining ethical standards: If you want to act within moral or legal boundaries, permission may be essential. This ensures your actions are appropriate and lawful. In these cases, seeking permission also shows respect and responsibility.
- Imposter Syndrome: You might believe you need or want more qualifications or certifications to be seen as someone able to achieve your goals. You don’t feel “good enough” without them.
How to Give Yourself Permission
More often than not, a desire for permission is rooted in your mind; it’s not an actual requirement. And that belief stops you from moving forward, even though you could give yourself permission to act.
So, how do you give yourself permission to pursue your goals and dreams—or even take a small action you desire? Use the following practical tips for self-permission.
- Identify what you want. Clarify your goals or desires and your next necessary or desired steps toward creating them.
- Research safety or ethical concerns. Ensure there are no strong reasons to wait for approval.
- Decide that you have permission. Make a conscious decision that you deserve and are allowed to pursue what matters to you.
- Say aloud: “I give myself permission to [action].” Repeat this many times throughout the day.
- Follow through. Confidently take action.
It doesn’t matter what you want permission for. You could wish to:
- start a new hobby.
- asking someone out on a date
- quit a job
- pursuing a creative passion, like writing or painting
- move to a new home or location
- buy a car
- start your own business
Give yourself permission to do and create what matters most to you.
If needed, you can inform others of your decision. Tell them, “I’ve given myself permission to (fill in the blank), and I hope you’ll support me.” This approach balances independence with respect for relationships.
The Mindset Needed for Self-Permission
Since the belief that you need permission lies in your mind, changing your thoughts and, therefore, beliefs, is essential. This involves overcoming your fears, doubts, and self-perception.
Trust your judgment. Affirm that you are capable of making good decisions. You don’t need outside validation.
Recognize that waiting for permission often results in missed opportunities. Choose to go for it, and trust that your action (rather than inaction) will get favorable results. Even if your choice to take advantage of an opportunity or decision to act in some way doesn’t turn out as you hoped, know that mistakes are part of growth. And something better will come out of giving yourself permission.
The Importance of Acting Without Delay
Ultimately, waiting for permission keeps you stuck. You believe you can’t move forward without approval. Thus, you remain where you are.
In the end, self-permission is about self-empowerment. You stop waiting for permission from others and start giving it to yourself.
Your dreams and goals are worthy of your own endorsement. The only permission you truly need is your own.
Give yourself permission right now to pursue something you truly desire and value. Demonstrate self-trust, self-respect, and self-love.
What have you been waiting to do because you think you need permission? Tell me in a comment below. And please share this post with those who might benefit from reading it.
Image courtesy of chuanpis.
