How honest are you with other people and with yourself? It’s easy to figure out the latter and to repent for the sin of being dishonest with others. We can even tell them we are sorry and ask for forgiveness. We can even try to right the wrong. It’s harder to admit how we have been dishonest with ourselves.
On this, the seventh day between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, as the Day of Repentance begins to loom before us, we – I – stop to consider how we have been dishonest…in word, deed, action.
Dishonesty can be displayed in so many ways…We most often think about dishonesty in the form of words, the little white lies we tell and justify and the bigger black lies we tell that we can’t really justify at all. Then there are the deeds: steeling something, manipulating someone, corrupt business practices, cheating on a spouse, etc.
Last, we have dishonest actions. How do these differ from deeds? Possibly not at all, except that I classify these as the ways in which we are dishonest about who we are. Have we acted like someone we are not? Have we behaved as if we liked someone when we don’t? Have we put ourselves out into the world as an expert when we know nothing of the subject?
And then there is denial. (No, not the river in Egypt.) Denial constitutes lying to ourselves…a sin against ourselves, a sin against God. Do we tell ourselves we are not lying to others? Do we tell ourselves we didnt’ steal? Do we tell ourselves we are living our soul’s purpose? Do we tell ourselves we treat others as we would like to be treated? Do we tell ourselves all sorts of things that simply aren’t true?
Ask yourself: Do I lie to myself? Am I in denial about my behavior and the way I am living my life?
At this point in the Days of Awe, it’s time for brutal honesty…with others, but, more importantly, with yourself. Stop lying to yourself about what a great job you are doing and how much better you are getting at whatever. Stop telling yourself that you’ve gotten much better at hitting the mark this past year when you know you never even went to shooting practice, or, worse yet, you simply drew a circle around your arrow to make it look like you hit a bull’s eye.
Get real. Get honest. Then do better this year.
Honesty can be brutal. Yet, it’s necessary to be brutally honest if you really take on the process of repentance.
