If you’ve been struggling to be who, as well as do and have what, you want, there’s only one obstacle in your path—you. Knowing that, wouldn’t you agree that it’s time to get out of your way?
Of course, you would, but how?
First, take responsibility. Stop blaming other people or situations because you have not achieved your goals or potential. Again…you are the problem.
Second, make a commitment to yourself. From this day forward, vow to be the type of person who can do the things that make it possible to have the things you want. No going back on your word.
Responsibility and commitment effectively move you out of your own way—as long as you remain consistently responsible and committed. That sounds impossible, right? Wrong.
You can do whatever you set your mind to doing—including accomplishing that goal. But, if you waver, the following eight strategies will help, too.
1. Stop finding reasons and excuses not to be, do, and have who and what you want.
You can devise many reasons why you can’t or haven’t changed, taken action, gotten desired results, and stepped into your best self. Here’s the truth: They are excuses. And each excuse adds increases the size of the obstacle lying between you and where you want to go.
If you were committed to who and what you want to be, do, and have, you’d be and do consistently. As a result, you’d have what you desire.
So stop blaming your spouse, the kids, your job, lack of time or money, or whatever. Take responsibility for yourself and your actions.
For anything to change, you must change. And that’s on you…only you.
2. Have self-integrity.
Do what you say you’re going to do. When you tell yourself you’re going to do something, like write, exercise, or look for a new job each day, do it. Be self-integral.
Self-integrity leads to an increase in self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-worth. It also builds trust in yourself. When you know you’ll keep your word to yourself, anything becomes possible.
When you are self-integral, you won’t allow your mind to convince you to do things the way you’ve done them in the past. You’ll have the courage to stand up to it and say, “I hear you. And I know you’re trying to keep me safe, but I’ve got this.” Then you will find yourself able to do what you told yourself you would do. And you begin to eliminate the obstacle in your path.
3. Stop controlling every detail.
It’s essential to have clarity on the outcome you desire—to be happy, healthy, or make a difference. However, how that happens or what it specifically looks like are not as important. And the more you try to control the details, the less you allow the Universe (Divine Intelligence, Creator, Source, God) to bring you what you want…or something better.
Most of us want to control everything! I get it… But the Universe can handle them better than you or I. And the more you insist that what you want must show up in a certain way and at a specific time, the more you become the obstacle to that happening.
Focus on the end result—a broad brush stroke or big picture view of what you desire. And affirm: This or something better is now coming to me at the perfect time and in the perfect way for the highest good of all concerned.
4. Take action.
Be willing to do something…anything…to get the energy moving. Inspired action is amazingly powerful, but if you don’t feel inspired, take action anyway.
You must overcome inertia. Get up and move!
You live in an energetic world. Therefore, when you put energy in motion, amazing things happen. As long as you do nothing, though, nothing happens—except that you continue to block the energy that can help you get what you want.
Do something you don’t want to do if that’s the only option, or take imperfect action. Take a baby step. Generate some energy.
5. Remind yourself of your Big Why.
If you know why you want to be, do, or have something, you’ve got a purpose. And you can use your purpose as your GPS.
Pay attention! Don’t ignore the instructions.
You say, “I want ___.” But, if you are like most people, you’re too busy to pay attention when given directions. Or you want to control how and when you get there. Or maybe you don’t believe the instructions are correct, so you take a well-worn path. You get in your way.
Allow your why to guide you toward who you want to be and what you want or need to do so you can have your desires.
6. Think positive thoughts.
When I say you are in your own way, I really mean your mind is the obstacle. Change your negative thoughts and limiting beliefs, and the obstacle disappears. Rewrite those false stories you tell yourself over and over again—your interpretation of past events—and you move forward more freely.
Learn to notice when your mind says that you can’t, shouldn’t bother, aren’t good enough, are too stupid, etc. Then, refocus it on positive thoughts and unlimited beliefs.
Don’t try to ignore the negative mental chatter. Focus on something else instead. Children are good at doing this. If, for example, they don’t want to listen to a parent, they turn their attention to a video, a text message, a television show, or a toy and effectively shut out what the parent says.
7. Stop beating yourself up.
Telling yourself you are the problem or berating yourself for not being, doing, having what you desire is not helpful. It creates a new obstacle.
Give yourself credit for doing anything…even taking tiny baby steps. Keep in mind that everyone fails, we all have bad days, and that’s I okay.
Tomorrow’s another day. Do it differently next time. Try again.
And love yourself through the tough times. Be kind to yourself. If you don’t, you won’t want to try again. You’ll convince yourself that it’s too hard or won’t pay off. That means, once again, you are in your own way.
8. Be who you need to be to do what you want to do and have what you want to have…now.
If you believe you must have X to do Y and then become Z, you’ve got the process backward. In fact, you have to be Z to do Y and have X.
So, don’t wait to be the person who can create your dreams or achieve your goals. Be that person right now.
If you want to be a writer, write. If you dream of becoming a painter, paint. If you want to start a business, be entrepreneurial. If you want to be kind, be kind, and if you want to be happy, be happy.
Choose an identity, and build that identity hour-by-hour, day-by-day, through your mindset and behavior. Begin showing up as that person to the best of your ability today. That’s when you move out of your way…fast!
You can get from where you are to where you want to go. You can create whatever your heart desires. You can be the very best version of yourself…if only you get out of your own way.
How do you plan to remove the obstacle in your path? Tell me in a comment below. And please share this post with a friend.
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Photo courtesy of Andrew Neel.
I will take action. I will turn self-criticism into self-empowerment by turning the words around from negative to positive. I will be before doing and remember my WHY. Thanks for a good list of ideas.
I so happen to have stumbled upon your book, “How to Blog a Book.” I’ve yet to read it. I will get around to reading it eventually. I have a few ideas for books to write, but not quite sure, just how to ge them started. Any suggestions? One of them, is about my very own life from childhood onward. The other two, well, let’s just say, at the moment, I’d like to keep them under rap for the time being. The one that is about my life, is called, My Life’s Journey.” As I said, it’s about myself and how I was growing up. I’d like to leave it as a legacy for my sons. I also, understand, you are the one who discovered or has created the writing project for the month of November? Wow!! I have to ask, does anyone ever write 50,000 words in that whole month? That is a lot of words to be writing in a month. I would love to see a few books written with my name on them. Please, give me some tips on how to do this.