I was browsing through my Facebook feed this morning and saw numerous pictures of Christmas trees, holiday parties and status updates about family gatherings and special recipies. I started to wonder if everyone finds this focus on Christmas, or the winter holidays, uplifting. I actually know they don’t.
I celebrate Chanukah, which this year came and went by the end of the first week of December. It isn’t marked with the same amount of festivities or decorations as Christmas, although there are parties and candles and gifts. Nor is Kwanza celebrated with as much fanfare, from what I know. And these holidays are celebrated only for the time period of the holiday itself, not for seemingly months. Each year Christmas comes earlier due to marketing in stores and decorations on homes and around towns and cities all across the United States, though in Europe and elsewhere it is confined mostly to December.
Holiday Doldrums
Some people get depressed around the holidays, especially if they have no family with whom to spend them. I’d like to acknowledge that, indeed, for some this season is tough. Yet, the information you may have heard about an increase in suicides around this time of year, for instance, are false. Contrary to popular belief, depression and suicide rates fall, rather than rise around holidays. While the media sometimes reports that depression or anxiety increase directly as a result of the holidays, studies have shown that people tend to be less likely to commit suicide during the holiday season, perhaps because of an increase in available emotional support—if you have family or friends from whom to get support.
I’ve never found the holidays difficult or depressing, but this year, I have to admit, I am struggling a bit. I’m feeling that emptiness that comes from not having family around. My daughter is only coming home for four and a half days and my son isn’t coming home at all. Even though we don’t celebrate Christmas, having them home when the world seems to shut down for the holiday makes a difference. It’s a time when I can stop work and spend time with them, and we have our own traditions at this time of year that just aren’t the same without the kids.
As a result, I am feeling kind of blah. I’d call it mild depression.
Be Okay With Your Feelings
Of course, just because the holiday season can be hard for some doesn’t mean others should not celebrate or be happy. I’m all for joy and celebration and meaningful giving.
However, I’d like to simply have this post acknowledge those who struggle in any way, shape or form with the holiday season. I’d like to remember them because my time on Facebook definitely made me feel they were forgotten.
If you are one of those people, I’d like to allow you to comment below and to know it is okay to say, “Hey, I don’t like this time of year. It’s hard for me. I can’t wait for it to be over.” And I’d like you to know that it’s all right to feel that way. You aren’t alone in wishing for everything to get “back to normal.”
As I said, I’m struggling a bit this year, too. And I’m one of those bah-humbug people who really hates that Christmas begins after Halloween–before Thanksgiving–in the stores and that I have to listen to Christmas music wherever I go for at least six weeks after Thanksgiving. (It’s okay if the son is sung by Bruce Springsteen!) Which is not to say that I hate the holidays. I love all the meaning and tradition that goes with Chanukah, I love the mystical candle lighting traditions, and I enjoy gift giving, although this is not a traditional part of our holiday. I also used to celebrate Christmas and enjoyed our tree and Christmas morning. And I love my New Year’s Eve tradition of writing goals and creating a vision board.
I also like the sentiments that go with the season: joy, peace, prosperity, giving… So I’m not all Grinch.
Find True Peace and Joy
My wish for everyone at this time of year is “shalom.” This Hebrew word typically is translated to mean “peace.” In fact, it means “completion,” the type of completion that comes when you are connected to the One, whatever you call that (God, Allah, Krishna, Elohim) and the Oneness of All—all things here on Earth and Above. When you can achieve that, you feel true peace. And out of that type of peace also comes joy.
May you find shalom now, this year, and every day of your life.
Leave a comment and tell me what the winter holidays are like for you.
