I knew I’d lost it in a critical area of my life…my marriage. (I’m being totally honest here.) I had no idea, however, that I’d lost it in many other areas, too, including writing, religion and spirituality, and even metaphysics. Now, I look around, and I see that many areas of my life, including hobbies I’ve loved, like gardening and reading, lack passion, too.
It’s like I got infected with a virus that spread throughout every life arena. And now I’m trying to find a cure.
It Starts Inside
Initially, I thought the virus had spread from my marriage to other areas of my life. I was sure it was the “host.”
In fact, it started inside me. I had generated and fostered the virus.
At different points in my life and for various reasons, I decided—for a variety of reasons—to walk away from the things I loved. And, because it felt painful, I shut down. I didn’t allow myself to feel the loss.
Each time I cut out of my life something about which I felt passionate, I became more dispassionate…until I found myself where I am today—lacking passion in general.
Or so I thought.
Listen for It…
In fact, I still have passion.
I was on the phone with a potential client the other day, and, when I finished speaking, she said, “I can hear your passion in your voice.” I stopped and thought about what she had said. She was right!
I had been talking about blogging, of all things. And even though I sometimes say that I wish I could walk away from my role as a blogging expert, the fact is that I am passionate about blogging. It’s one of the most powerful ways to impact people’s lives.
I was on the phone with another potential client just a day later, this time talking about Certified High Performance Coaching. After I finished telling her about my program and why I thought and the benefit it offered, and she said, “I can tell you are passionate about your coaching. It’s evident in the way you talk about it.”
There is was again. I stopped, thought about it, and said to myself, “Yes, Nina, you are passionate about coaching and, specifically, about personal development.”
I couldn’t feel the passion, but they could hear it…and feel it. Once I tuned into my own words, I felt and heard the emotion there as well. Until that point, I just wasn’t listening or noticing.
Additionally, I wasn’t allowing that passion to flourish. Instead, I was letting it wither and die.
Treat Passion like a Delicate Flower
Imagine your passion like a delicate flower—a passion flower. It needs love, attention, nutrients, and sun. If you ignore it long enough, it will die.
That’s what happened to to my passion! Don’t let that happen to yours.
Discover your passions, and then nurture them. Help them become robust and vibrant, so your life becomes a healthy passion plant that blesses you daily with its beauty.
Do you know what your passions are?
Discover Your Passions
It’s time to rediscover your passions. It’s incredible how easy it is to forget them. Just remember what they are (or were) can make you feel happier and more alive.
Believe me…I know. I cried when I realized how I had forgotten my greatest passions and let them wither on the vine. As soon as I recalled what they were and committed to putting time and energy into them again, I felt my energy shift.
What a huge relief…to allow myself those passions once again! What joy…knowing I would spend time with them again.
If, like me, you’ve forgotten, deserted, or closeted away your passions, it’s time to rediscover them. How?
Make a list of the things you used to love doing…your childhood passions. Think back to the ages of two to seven or so. How did you spend your time? What were your obsessions? What could you focus on or do for hours?
Now recall how you spent your time between the ages of 8 and about 14. What passions occupied you then? What were your obsessions and primary focuses?
As you got older—between the ages of 14 and 20—what were your passions? And at get 20 and up…what occupied your mind and heart?
List all of your passions. Then put a check mark next to the ones you’ve invited into your life in the last 10 to 15 years. Then use a highlighter to indicate which passions you’ve pushed out of your life for years…but would like to allow in again. (Be honest… Don’t allow any fears or judgments to sway how you respond to this list.)
Now your only job is to take action. Get involved in those passions—or passion projects—again. You don’t have to take them all on at once, but decide to get involved in one or two of them for the next 30 to 60 days.
Then watch for the results—passion growing in your life.
Allow Your Passion to Guide You
There are lots of reasons why you might have disowned or neglected your passion. Maybe someone judged you for it and said it was a stupid preoccupation. Perhaps a parent told you it was a waste of time. Possibly your spouse didn’t have an interest in it, and, in an attempt to make the relationship about shared interests, you put it on the top shelf of your closet.
None of that matters now.
The most important thing at this moment is that you find your passion again. (I’m taking this advice to heart as well…) Once you find it…and incorporate it into your life…you’ll discover passion healing every part of your life. The dispassionate virus will be replaced by vibrancy, enthusiasm, and joy…and, of course, passion.
I know this to be true—even though I’m on this journey with you. Allowing yourself now to enjoy something about which you felt passionate in the past is the cure to what ails you. And if you don’t remember your passion, or you think you can’t connect with it again, find a new one.
Have you lost your passion and gotten it back again? Tell me in a comment below how you did so. Or, if you feel you’ve currently lost your passion, tell me what you’ve felt passionate about in the past and how you plan to incorporate that into your life again.
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