Yesterday I found myself saying to my daughter, “I have something to tell you, and you probably aren’t going to like what I have to say.” I proceeded to give her my analysis of a situation that I had witnessed, and then I offered her my sage wisdom. She listened. She cried. She agreed with me (for once – she is, after all, only 16). She even admitted I was right on many counts.
And when were done talking, I thought to myself, I should listen to my own advice. The wisdom I offered her, the words I spoke, were the same words someone else should be saying to me.
So often other people mirror for us our own lives, our own shortcomings, our own issues. And when we are triggered by other people’s actions, we know that it is actually because they are showing us the very things we need to work on or improve. Or we should know that.
I know that. I don’t always remember that or want to acknowledge that fact. And I didn’t see it when I was so upset by my daughter’s behavior in that given situation or by the situation in general. The details aren’t worth going into. Suffice it to say, I wanted her to succeed, and I saw that she was holding herself back from doing so.
So, let me look in the mirror she provided. I could easily say the same for myself. And I could say it about some very similar situations in my very own life. I, too, through my own actions and ways of relating to people and events in my life, am holding myself back from success.
I need to listen to the sage advice I gave her. Too bad I didn’t tape record the conversation. I could have replayed that monologue for myself, so I could get the full affect of my own words. I offered her some pretty good wisdom…the best I had to offer really. I wouldn’t give my daughter any less. Now I need to take it for my own. I guess sometimes the best wisdom isn’t that which is offered but rather than which is taken for yourself – by yourself. I only hope I can listen to myself as well as my daughter did to me.
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