If you are like most people, you’re quick to say definitively what you don’t want but struggle to speak clearly about what you do want. It’s time to switch that up and get super clear on what you want—if you do want to create it, that is.
There’s nothing wrong with knowing what you don’t want. Actually, that knowledge is essential, especially when it comes to making decisions. If you didn’t know what you don’t want, you might accept a job that you don’t like, eat a meal that leaves you nauseous, or even marry the wrong person.
On the other hand, clarity about what you desire keeps you moving toward it. And it stops you from making decisions you might later regret.
Thinking about what you want when you don’t have it yet can leave you feeling depressed or angry, though. I understand. It’s upsetting to want something you don’t have—unless you realize that what’s upsetting you is your focus on what you don’t want…not your attention to what you do want. The thought that makes you feel so lousy is “I don’t want to not have the thing I desire!”
You’ve got a lot of clarity about what you don’t want. Now you need a stronger sense of knowing about what you do want—and some focus and energy placed on that desire.
Put Your Energy Into What You Want
The other day, I got really upset about something. I needed to leave for an appointment, so I got in the car. As I drove, I gripped the wheel and cried while shouting aloud, “I don’t want it. I don’t want it. I hate that. I don’t like it. I want it out of my life. I don’t want it.”
In other words, I put an enormous amount of emotional and mental energy towards what I didn’t want.
I know better than that.
I don’t want to direct all that energy toward what I don’t desire—ever. Why? The more energy and focus you put on anything, the more likely you are to attract it into your life.
At that moment, I asked myself an enormously important question: “What do I want?”
I continued to grip the steering wheel and, with the same intensity of emotion, I began to recite out loud all the things I wanted. I placed all my focus and passion on what I wanted…my desires.
To do that, though, I had to know what I wanted.
Clarity Aids Creation
If you don’t know what you want, it’s difficult—often impossible—to create it in your life.
Keep in mind that what you want is ever-changing. Sometimes you have the same desire for years and years—like the desire for a red Corvette or to become a parent or to be happy. Other times it’s as if our desires change hourly or daily—you want a mocha…no a chai tea…to get married…to stay single…to get promoted…or maybe to find a new job.
Indeed, what we want changes all the time.
Today, get clear about what you want at this moment. Then, you can figure out what you want in the future.
How to Know What You Want
Grab a journal and make a list of everything you want…everything! Consider all the areas of your life. Keep that list in a safe place, so you can refer back to it regularly.
Next, create a practice of revisiting what you want on a regular basis. Tonight before you go to bed, think about what you want tomorrow. You can make a list in your journal again, but do this every evening.
When you wake up in the morning, review the list and ask yourself if anything has changed since the night before. Maybe you need to add or subtract an item. Review the list; make sure it’s really what you want for the day.
That becomes your weekday ritual. You can continue on Saturday or Sunday, but on Sunday make another list of what you want for the coming week. Review that list daily for the next seven days.
Also, make a list of what you want for the month and for the year. Review this list monthly.
Review Brings Clarity
Sometimes your lists will need to be revamped. You might do it for the whole year and then come back six months later and read it and think, “You know what? My desires have changed.” Okay, fine.
Change it up. A consistent review process will increase your level of clarity around what you want.
Now, you can expand this list by adding an explanation of why you want each item. Determine “why” and get emotionally connected to the reason.
Plus, you can also give each desire a deadline. For example, write I want to create a new home to live in by such and such a date. This adds some more clarity to it.
Every day, strive for increased clarity around what you want. Get really clear about what you want and create a regular practice of evaluating your desires so you gain more clarity. Doing so will make it much easier to create what you want. Without clarity on what you want. You’re going to have a hard time bringing that into your life.
So this week, get some clarity on what it is you want. Get really clear on what it is you want and stick with this practice for the next 12 months and see how it changes your life.
Are you clear about what you want? I’d love it if you left a comment below and told me.
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Indeed, it’s so important to know what you want. I’m fortunate that I’ve been practicing writing down what I want and reviewing it at least every year, even though I want to do it more, but already that year review and writing what I want once makes a big difference on what I decide.
Thanks for the reminder.