What to Control When Things are Out of Control

Life has a way of handing us situations we can’t control. Nothing we do changes the situation–it’s “out of control” and has to resolve on its own.

That’s usually when you say, “That’s out of control!” Really, it’s out of your control.

If you’re reading this post in June 2020, a lot of things probably feel out of your control because of the Covid-19 pandemic. And then there are the riots related to George Floyd’s death at the hands of police.

But other situations are out of your control, too, like how your children behave, fluctuations in the stock market, the weather, oil prices, and when you get a flat tire.

So what can—or should you—try to control when things are out of control?

What’s Worth Controlling

Most of us try to control things that aren’t worth controlling—including things we can’t control. Instead, discern what’s worth managing and within your control.

You might think, “My business is important; it’s my livelihood. Therefore, I need to control that.”

True, but sometimes, the success of your business is out of your control. Look how many companies were affected by the pandemic and had to close for a while or forever.

You might say, “It’s important to control my health.” Sure it is, but sometimes you come into contact with a virus and get sick anyway.

The same is true of your finances, relationships, and so many other life arenas. It’s essential to try to control them, but sometimes they, too, are out of your control.

How about controlling things that are always within your ability to control…and that make you feel happier, alive, enthusiastic, and fulfilled—no matter what goes on around you. These are things worth controlling.

Control Your Mindset

You have control over your mindset. The way you think about things—your outlook—determines how you approach and feel about your life. In fact, your mind is the lens through which you experience the world.

Therefore, you want to control your mindset. If you have a positive outlook on life, you’ll see and experience life more positively. This leads to a greater sense of control, too.

If you have a negative outlook on life, you’re going to see and experience life negatively. Also, this mindset tends to make you see much of life as out of your control.

Although your mindset is determined in part by subconscious thoughts, controlling your mindset is not as difficult as you might think. It is possible to gain clarity on your negative thoughts and limiting beliefs using meditation, coaching, or therapy. Then you can adjust them and, in the process, change your mindset. As a result, what you see and experience will change as well.

Control Your Behavior

You can control your behavior as well. Your behavior is an outward illustration of your character, but you can decide how you show up in the world.

You don’t have to behave in a way considered “out of control,” such as reactive or short-tempered. You can choose how to act at any moment.

If you know what type of person you’d like to be, you can use that vision of your best self to guide your behavior. Every moment, you have the opportunity to choose to behave as if you are already that person.

Controlling your behavior impacts your success in every area of life. And, as you choose how to behave and the character you want to demonstrate, you experience more happiness and fulfillment.

Control Your Level of Fulfillment

Speaking of fulfillment, you can control how much satisfaction you feel. If you know what’s important to you, you can control how much time, energy, and attention you place on these priorities. The more fulfilled you feel, the happier you will become with yourself and your life.

If you feel a strong sense of purpose, you can control how you rise to that calling. When you do things that are “on purpose,” your level of fulfillment will increase.

Everyone has a unique soul or life purpose. Yours might involve raising children or supporting your family. Or your mission might be helping battered women or saving horses from slaughter. When you take action related to your purpose, you will feel more fulfilled.

However, if you don’t feel a strong sense of purpose, you can still control for fulfillment. Consider what gives you that sense of gratification and contentment. Maybe you feel fulfilled when you write, play, feed and watch the birds, listen to music, or plant and nurture a lovely garden.

Do those things. As you do, you control your level of fulfillment.

Control Your Degree of Happiness

Last but not least, you can control the amount of happiness you feel. Don’t think happiness is out of your control; it’s not!

Happiness relates to your mindset. You can generate more significant degrees of joy by focusing your mind on things that make you happy.

[You experience whatever you think about[(https://ninaamir.com/choose-thoughts-create-experience/). If you’re thinking about things that make you feel judgmental, sad, angry, or fearful, that’s what you will experience emotionally.

The antidote to this is simple: Think about things that make you happy. You will then experience higher levels of happiness.

Additionally, you can make yourself feel happier by doing things you enjoy. Thus, your behavior impacts your happiness, too.

What makes you happy? Whatever it is—dancing, singing, bike riding, reading, watching inspirational movies, bird watching, exercising—do that…often!

You’re Not Out of Control

When you control things worth controlling—your mindset, your behavior, your level of fulfillment, and the degree of happiness you feel—you will feel as if you can control just about anything life dishes up. Why? Because you can control your inner state.

In a world that all too often feels totally out of control, take control of yourself. Doing so will allow you to gracefully move through any situation and to focus on things within your control.

What do you think is worth controlling when things seem out of control? Tell me in a comment below. And please share this post with anyone you think would benefit from reading it.

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Photo courtesy of Photo by Hasan Almasi