What if You Became the Average of the People You Know?

who are your friends?One of the ways we help ourselves succeed in life is by association. We can choose to associate with people who are successful, to find mentors who can teach us or to surround ourselves with supportive friends and colleagues.  In this way we help ourselves become our best possible selves.

I recently read that we become the average of our friends’ characteristics. Think about this concept carefully. What if you became the average of the people you spend the most time with right now?

What does that really mean? It means that if you choose to spend the majority of your time with three people who are unsuccessful, unmotivated, angry, negative, and have no goals, and only one who is motivated, successful, positive, tenacious, and full of dreams for the future, you will become more like the first three.

Scary thought, right?

What if you work with difficult people who don’t share the workload, balk at every bit of constructive criticism and don’t meet deadlines? And what if you also are married to someone who is a workaholic, won’t exercise and has no faith in God or anything else?

Scary…unless you reverse it and spend time with people with positive attributes.

Become Your Best Positive Self

This simple concept works with anything. If you want to be happier, hang around with happy people. Their happiness will rub off on you. Not only will you feel happier when you are with them, you’ll see how they respond to life and, eventually, you will learn to respond in the same way.

If you want to raise your consciousness, find people who have a higher level of consciousness and spend time with them. Your level will adjust to theirs over time. This is often referred to as “entrainment.”

Once your really thing about this concept, it’s actually not so scary. It’s exciting, It means you have the ability to influence who you become simply by your choice of friends and colleagues. How cool is that?

I’ve been thinking a lot about this. I’ve considered who I choose to work with—are they easy or hard to work with?  I’ve considered who I choose to spend free time with—are they conscious, enlightened and open minded about spirituality and metaphysics and do they have a positive attitude? And what colleagues can I associate with— are they spiritual, positive, tenacious, optimistic, successful, open-hearted, giving, and supportive? I want to surround myself with people who represent my ideal self, or as they say in psychological terms, my “best possible self.”

Choose Your Friends and Colleagues Wisely

I suggested to someone close to me that he look at his friends, a few of which didn’t have high aspirations in life, and consider choosing new ones who did, especially since his aspirations were quite high. I told him it would help him achieve his goals. As he spent time with friends who were more like he “wanted to be,” he would become more like them. He said he wouldn’t choose his friends in that manner or “throw away” a friend because he wasn’t a good influence in some way.

I can understand not ending old associations simply because you think they might not serve your own development, but you might want to consider how many of your friends, family and colleagues bolster you, actually help you become the person you most want to become, and how much time you spend with them. Choose your friends and colleagues wisely. Make sure that if you become the average of these associations, that average looks like your best possible self.

If you became the average of your friends, family and colleagues, would you become your best possible self?

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