Like you, despite my best efforts, I do the same. Even though I’m a Certified High Performance Coach and a Law of Attraction Coach, I still find my mind trained on what I don’t want rather than on what I do want.
Recently, I’ve been worrying about a health issue. I think about it, spend time researching it, and talk about it incessantly. Have you ever done that…even though you just want the issue to go away?
Maybe you are having problems at work. You keep thinking about your boss, your performance, and the possibility of getting fired…even though you want to retain your job.
Perhaps you started a new business, and you keep thinking about the possibility of failure. Every time something goes wrong or sales are lower than expected, you think “I don’t want to fail.” Really, though, you want to succeed.
Or you think about the fact that you don’t want to lose your husband or wife. You don’t want to get sick, gain weight, go to work, or cook dinner.
Focusing on what you don’t want increases the likelihood of attracting it into your life. That’s why it’s so important to focus on what you want.
But focusing on what you want can seem hard…especially when you’re focused on what you don’t want.
How to Break the I-Don’t-Want Habit
A few weeks ago, my friend introduced me to a new way to break the I-Don’t-Want Habit. (Prepare yourself…this tip contains what could be seen as offensive language.) I call it a “F*ck That Attitude.”
I was on a call with a group of my very best friends. One of them is fabulous at staying focused on the positive. She’s always right on target with advice related to deliberate creation.
Another friend began talking about her current health issue. She was concerned, and her mind was focused on potential reasons for her condition. I immediately went into solution mode: “Well, maybe you should get tested for this or for that. Maybe you should see a different type of doctor.”
My other friend interrupted. “Can I make a suggestion?”
“Yes, please,” we replied.
“Don’t do any of that. Just say ‘Fck that! I want this.’ Fill in the blank… Decide ‘I want perfect health.’ Tell your current health issues or fears or beliefs that something is wrong with you to fch off. Say ‘F*ck that! I want perfect health!’”
Put Your Energy Toward
Now, you don’t have to curse if you don’t want to. You can say something like “No way!” instead. But there is a huge amount of energetic power in adamantly saying “yes” to what you do want.
Maybe you are a writer about to send out a query letter to a publication. Before you hit “send,” you hesitate as a thought enters your mind. “I could get rejected.” When you become conscious of that thought, you say to yourself, “No way!” followed by “I want an acceptance!”
You can continue this train of thought with more affirmations of what you want, like “I want to be published.”
The same goes for the example above about marriage. When you find yourself thinking “I don’t want my spouse to leave me,” say, “F*ck that! Not happening! I want my marriage to work. I want my marriage to be loving, joyous, and fulfilling.”
Be Clear about what You Want
Here’s the thing… The Universe (or God or whatever you want to call Source energy) cannot bring you what you want unless you are clear about it. As long as you are thinking about what you don’t want, you make it harder to discern what you do want.
In fact, the more you focus on what you don’t want, the more energy you put toward that unwanted thing—and attract it into your experience.
So get clear! “I want ____.”
Decide precisely what you desire and be clear about asking for it. “I don’t want that, but I DO want this.”
I know the language used is a bit crude, but my friend’s advice is a super powerful way to refocus and put all your energy definitively towards what you want. It also stops you from pushing against what you don’t want, which exerts tons of energy in that direction and ultimately brings what you don’t want into your life.
Determine Your Destiny
Tony Robbins teaches, “It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.” Make a decision. “I don’t want that! I want this.”
Try my friend’s advice. And make a declaration of what you want. Then say f*ck that to all the rest.
In a comment below, tell me how this advice worked for you.
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