Don’t Allow Others to Lessen Your Feeling of Worthiness

You are worthyNot long ago, I started writing affirmations using the words “worthy.” I’d gone to a healer who suggested doing so in reference to my relationship with God. I was told to recite, “I am worthy of Creator’s love.” The more I worked with the affirmation, though, the more clearly I saw that I had worthiness issues in other areas of my life, too.

On a deep level, I did not believe I was worthy of love—from God or from anyone else. When I was seven, my father died, and I chose to think I was a child unworthy of his love. In my teens, my mother wouldn’t purchase an expensive horse for me to ride in competitions for a national equitation award, and this left me feeling unworthy (as a rider and a person) of such an expense. In my late 20s and early 30s, issues with parenting my stepchildren caused me to feel unworthy of their love as well as my husband’s love. More recently, rejections of my written work by magazine editors, agents, and publishers caused me to feel unworthy of publication. Similarly, failed promotions for my coaching programs or products always results in a deep feeling that I have nothing of value to offer.

This one word—worthy—opened a Pandora’s Box.

What Does Worthiness Mean?

I decided to explore the word “worthy” as well as a closely related word—“deserving.” I looked up their definitions.

Worthy is often defined as “having or showing the qualities or abilities that merit recognition in a specified way.” Worthiness, therefore, means “the quality of being good enough; suitability; deserving attention or respect.”

That brought me to the word deserving since it was included in the definition of worthy. It is defined as “worthy of being treated in a particular way, typically of being given assistance”—which brings us back to the issue of worthiness.

I usually do not see myself as someone who lacks self-worth or self-esteem, but my worthy affirmations uncovered issues related to these words as well. It’s easy to make the jump from worthiness to self-worth, which can be defined as self-esteem and commonly means “confidence in one’s own worth or abilities or self-respect.” Self-worth is the opinion you have about and the value you place on yourself. If you don’t have a high degree of self-worth, you feel unworthy. You believe you don’t deserve whatever you want—love, success, good health, prosperity, God’s attention, or your goals achieved.

I am Worthy.

After some thought, my affirmations morphed into I am worthy of love, peace, health, prosperity, success, connection, and fulfillment. To me, that also meant I was deserving of the same.

More generally, I started telling myself “I am worthy.” I could use this affirmation at any time and in just about any situation.

And I did so. After a while, though, I got angry.

I mean, really! WTF? Why wouldn’t I be worthy? No one is born into this physical life without being worthy…of everything!

The Lie You Were Told

Somewhere along the line, someone told you that you were unworthy. Or maybe you just started saying this to yourself. In either case, it’s a lie.

You enter this world worthy of everything. Don’t let anyone ever convicne you that isn’t true. We are all born as perfect souls in a body (even if the body isn’t perfect at birth). We don’t need to prove our worthiness…not in the least.

If you died tomorrow, baptized or not, repentant or not, having fulfilled your potential or purpose or not, you would be worthy of God’s love, heaven (if you believe in heaven), and another chance (if you believe I reincarnation).

It’s possible that you need to change in some ways that will help you achieve a different level of success, relationship, health, or whatever. But you are worthy of whatever you desire—even worthy of change.

In fact, the moment you realize you are worthy, change starts to happen.

The Redefinition Process

I know I still have a long way to go to level up my sense of worthiness. I know I could have a greater sense of self-worth and self-respect. And sometimes I still struggle to feel I deserve what I want—or to feel that without anger.

Almost everyday, situations arise that cause me to question my worthiness. I respond poorly to something that happens, get rejected by yet another magazine or publisher, hear my 95-year-old mother telling me I “did it wrong,” or see the lack of funds in my bank account.

Each time I feel my self-worth dip, every time I hear the voice in my head saying “You don’t deserve that” or “You aren’t good enough for that,” I say, loud and clear, “I am worthy. Period.” And, most times, that helps.

I’ve stopped allowing others to determine my worthiness. I continually work not to let their perception of or response to me to define my self worth or whether or not I deserve something.

After all, that’s the problem…I have allowed others to define or determine my worthiness, when, in fact, I am worthy…no matter what others think.

A sense of unworthiness comes from outside you. Don’t allow it to affect you on the inside; when you do, you develop a belief that you are unworthy that radiates from the inside out. If you want to achieve a different type of results in your personal or professional life, remind yourself daily that you are worthy. Watch what happens.

Do you have tricks, tools, or mindsets that help you feel worthy? Tell me in a comment below.

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You can improve your sense of self-worth by daily stepping into the person you know you are or can become—someone worthy and deserving of everything you desire. Give me an hour of your time, and I’ll help you see how to move take steps that help you increase your sense of self-worth. To apply for a one-hour FREE Certified High Performance Coaching strategy session,. fill out this application.

Or register for my Certified High Performance Group Coaching program here. It’s a great option if you don’t feel ready for one-on-one coaching and want to enjoy the power of group learning. The next session begins in mid-May.

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