It’s easy to put a teacher, coach, healer, or author you respect on a pedestal. You become a “disciple,” looking up to such gurus as role models or influencers in your life. When you see another side to them—one that is in opposition to who they claimed to be and your expectations of or beliefs about them, you feel lied to, angry, disappointed, and betrayed.
That’s when your guru falls off the pedestal—or you knock them off. It’s difficult to reconcile their actions with their teachings and who they claimed to be.
Then, as a disciple, you need to find a way to recover.
Usually, the tendency is to destroy the pedestal, sweep up the debris, and get rid of it…and them. But that’s a bit like throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Sometimes, there is something to salvage from the wreckage, and, in doing so, you find a way forward sans guru. Plus, as with the loss of any relationship, it’s best to acknowledge and feel your grief, anger, and betrayal.
Idols are Human
I remember attending the late Stuart Wilde’s Warrior’s Wisdom event in Taos, NM. Wilde was a British writer best known for his works on New Age, self-empowerment, and spirituality. I had read all of Wilde’s books and was excited to learn from him for five days and experience him personally. I even pushed myself to ask him for an interview, which he granted, and I’ve often shared the things he said.
One evening, he spoke to the attendees about the spiritual and powerful side of sex. Wilde downed several gin and tonics during that talk and admitted he needed them to speak on the topic.
I recall feeling mildly disappointed in him then. I didn’t understand why such a wise metaphysician and teacher needed the help of alcohol to speak about a sensitive, yet important, topic. And, drinking went against his teachings about health and energy.
At the end of the event, Wilde had a party for the attendees. I watched him speak with his wife and young son in what I would call a loving manner. But once his family left the gathering, he proceeded to get drunk and come on to the young, pretty female attendees.
I felt disappointed again. After all, this was a teacher I had respected and whose work had influenced me. His behavior seemed so out of character.
I shared this experience with another teacher of mine when I returned from the event. He said, “You put Stuart on a pedestal. You expected him to behave in a certain manner—to live up to your standards of what you thought a spiritual teacher should be. When you saw his humanness—his faults, you knocked him off the pedestal.”
What he said was true.
He added, “Now you are negating the whole experience and what you learned at the event, because he didn’t live up to your expectations. He wasn’t perfect.”
I nodded.
Everything Wilde taught me at that event remained valuable, as does the information from his many books. So, I left him off the pedestal; I allowed him to be an imperfect human with much wisdom to offer. Also, I retained the mostly positive experiences of the event and everything I learned from him, in one form or another. Still today, I speak of Wilde, the Warrior’s Wisdom, and his teachings fondly and often recommend his books.
I did not and do not condone his behavior, however.
When Many Idols Fall at Once
Most recently, many idols have fallen at once. The release of the Epstein Files has shed a negative light on many gurus, influencers, celebrities, and leaders. Jeffrey Epstein was convicted of soliciting a prostitute and procuring a child for prostitution and was later arrested again on federal sex trafficking charges but committed suicide before he could be brought to trial. Those who had some sort of relationship with him include politicians, businessmen, members of the British royal family, and, now, at least one notable person in the personal and spiritual growth arena.
Such a mass fall from pedestals built on the foundation of trust, respect, and shared values makes it enormously difficult not to feel betrayed by these people. While most have not been formally accused of a crime or misdeed, they have been convicted by association.
And that leaves the general public wondering about their ability to discern whom to trust or believe. It leaves many feeling that their own ability to judge people is flawed.
It’s not.
The Fall of A Spiritual and Personal Growth Guru
When I first saw Deepak Chopra’s name mentioned in relation to the Epstein Files, I thought the information must be wrong. Many of us on a personal and spiritual growth journey put Chopra on a pedestal.
Chopra is famous for pioneering the mind-body medicine movement, blending Western science with Eastern spirituality, writing almost 100 self-help books, and attracting celebrity followers. He also built a massive wellness brand focused on holistic health, personal transformation, and alternative healing. He’s known for making spirituality accessible and as a leader of the consciousness movement.
I wanted to believe that this guru wasn’t involved with Epstein. Yet Chopra’s name appears 3,466 times in the Epstein files, according to a Substack post by Dr. Scott Mills, an expert focused on the intersection of neuroscience, ancient wisdom, and modern psychology. In his Substack article, The Silence: Inside the Chopra-Epstein Files, Dr. Mills writes, “Deepak Chopra is one of the most influential personal development leaders on the planet. Ninety-five books. Tens of millions of copies sold. A global brand built on the word consciousness.” Dr. Mills notes that, after years of learning from Chopra and supporting his work, he is now “heartbroken.”
Many people feel the same way, myself included. And it’s important to feel that grief, which can become covered up by anger or judgment.
My Discipleship with Chopra
My first introduction to Chopra was at a small speaking event he gave as he began his rise after the publication of his first book, Quantum Healing. Not long after that, I interviewed Chopra for a local Atlanta spiritual newspaper. A year or two later, I interviewed him again, this time meeting Chopra in his hotel room for the interview and then driving him to a talk he was giving at the local Transcendental Meditation Center. I remained in the audience to hear him speak.
A few years after my interviews with him, my husband and I went to hear Chopra speak in a large auditorium. Afterward, I purchased a book for him to sign and reminded him of the times we met.
I continued to read Chopra’s books, and I played CDs of his books and programs in the car as I drove my young children to and from activities, wanting them to learn from Chopra. I took my son to one of Chopra’s events when he was less than 10 years old, bought a CD program for us to listen to together, stood in line to speak with Chopra, and had him sign the CD cover.
And now, he has fallen from grace. In emails to subscribers Chopra has skirted the issue. Still, there are all those mentions in the Epstein Files. In my mind, he lies on the ground below the pedestal I, and so many others, built for him. His silence does more harm than good.
The Value that Remains
What happens when someone falls off the pedestal? I find that people are inclined to discount what their guru provided before allegations of any kind were made. They decide none of that has any value any longer. They can’t reconcile the message with the messenger.
I believe that is a mistake, especially if you are a disciple trying to heal from your guru’s fall off a pedestal.
I understand not wanting to be tainted through association. Other authors, teachers, coaches, and healers remove all mentions of or programs they offered with someone whose reputation suddenly gets tarnished, like Chopra. I understand that reaction.
Yet, there is still value to be gleaned from his work or the work of any other fallen guru. If we negate that value, we remove the aspects of who we have become because of what we learned from them. Doing so can harm our sense of self and prevent us from healing.
Chopra contributed through his books and teachings. I don’t believe we want to negate that fact. Yet, many try to mitigate the knowledge offered by fallen gurus. In that vein, they likely deem Chopra’s work meaningless now because of his associated with a known child trafficker.
When it became obvious the allegations of a relationship between Chopra and Epstein were true—that his name is mentioned multiple times in the Epstein Files, I reminded myself of what I realized after I pushed Wilde off the pedestal I built for him. While he might have demonstrated faults—even incongruent actions, his teachings remained relevant. The same is true of Chopra.
I do not condone Wilde’s or Chopra’s behavior. (Of course, I have no proof that Wilde went farther than having a few too many drinks and flirting with pretty women.) I have only read the messages between Epstein and Chopra; no one has accused him of anything to date. Yet, it seems clear he had a long-term relationship with Epstein and potentially knowledge of his child trafficking business.
I was able to get past my negative feelings about Wilde’s behavior. I’m not sure I can do the same with Chopra if it turns out he didn’t just associate with Epstein but knew about and the man’s sordid business. If his comments, as revealed in the Epstein files, are true and just the tip of the iceberg, I can never look at or think about him again without feelings of disappointment, betrayal, and disapproval. His morals and values simply do not align with mine, nor do they align with the person we all thought he was.
Yet, that does not discount the wisdom in his programs or books. Even if he wrote them purely for his own gain, there is something in them from which we can learn, and I have learned. They are no less valuable now than before Chopra’s relationship with Epstein was revealed.
That’s important to remember as you look at the guru lying beside the pedestal.
The Loss of a Moral Compass
What has changed is how I—and many others—view Chopra’s character now that we know he was involved with Epstein and said the things he did about young women. Someone we thought had a moral compass seems to have lost it along the way to a position of influence and power.
The same might be said of Wilde if he followed through on his flirtations. (Even if he didn’t, his behavior was out of alignment with what he taught.)
These gurus provide a cautionary tale for those of us who are authors, teachers, healers, influencers of any type, or public figures. We see what can happen when you gain power and associate with other powerful people who may have already lost their moral compass.
I recall an extremely charismatic Jewish teacher named Mordechai Gafni, who was seen as a rising star in the Jewish Renewal movement. He was accused of having relationships with young women while married, and later stripped of his rabbinic title and his marriage. He later faced similar charges again.
This is not an uncommon story. When so-called spiritual gurus become influential, they may take advantage of that power or use it in ways that are at odds with the values and morals we believe they possess (or should possess). Their behavior goes against moral codes and, sometimes, the law.
I remember loving Gafni’s book, Soul Prints. I took a class with him once at the Aleph Kallah. I was enthralled by both Gafni and his wife, who later remarried the son of a friend of mine. If I reread his book, I’m sure I would still find value in it—even if I held in my mind a constant reminder of who Gafni showed himself to be. Yet, I find myself wanting nothing to do with him any longer.
This may become true about Chopra, too. I may not be able to read his books without feeling his work is tainted. I definitely won’t want anything to do with him.
Don’t Stay Silent
The few names of gurus I’ve mentioned are just the tip of the iceberg. There are so many more people who had relationships with Epstein and knew about his child traficking. I’ve not even mentioned politicians, heads of state, or other powerful people whose moral compass seems to point them in a totally different direction once they gain power.
I rarely write about such topics, but I believe the ramifications extend beyond the personal and spiritual growth spaces (and other areas impacted by the revelations in the Epstein Files). Those who followed Chopra—his disciples—are impacted. And, when you get beyond the headlines, the toll on the lives of his disciples is more important, is it not?
Plus, I agree with Dr. Mills; this is not a time to be silent. He shared on Substack about the 21 personal and spiritual growth influencers who have remained silent even after the news that Chopra’s name was included in the Epstein Files. Dr. Mills listed the following:
Tony Robbins—15 million followers
Mel Robbins—10 million followers
Brené Brown—7 million followers
Jay Shetty—50 million followers
Gabby Bernstein—1 million followers
Tim Ferriss—10 million followers
Jen Sincero—1 million followers
Eckhart Tolle—5 million followers
Marianne Williamson—3 million followers
Joe Dispenza—5 million followers
Rachel Hollis—3 million followers
Brendon Burchard—10 million followers (my mentor for years)
Lewis Howes—5 million followers
Marie Forleo— 2 million followers
Vishen Lakhiani—3 million followers
Robin Sharma—5 million followers
Mark Hyman—5 million followers
Glennon Doyle—3 million followers
Elizabeth Gilbert—8 million followers
Danielle LaPorte—500 thousand followers
Oprah Winfrey—100 million followers
“Over 250 million followers combined. The DOJ files have been public since January 30, 2026. Not one of these people has said a word,” reports Dr. Mills.
Lissa Rankin, MD, spoke into the silence with a Substack article, Blowing The Whistle On Deepak Chopra, The Epstein Files, Cancel Culture, & Holding My Influencer Peers (& Myself) Accountable. She points out that there are many reasons to remain silent.
I can think of many reasons I should not be writing or publishing this post—criticism, judgment, push back, loss of followers and clients, to name a few. However, I agree with Dr. Rankin and Dr. Mills. She writes, “Dr. Mills is right; silence is complicity. Silence is violence. Silence enables the perpetrators and betrays victims. And that is why I can’t stay silent about some thing I haven’t said publicly yet.”
Unlike Dr. Rankin, I have no other stories to share about famous people or gurus. And Chopra was polite and well-mannered when I met with him in person in that hotel room (in case you were wondering). I will, however, say I am disappointed that so many of the personal and spiritual growth authors and teachers I respect have remained silent—including Chopra.
Their silence calls into question their moral compass. Is it more important to protect yourself from criticism than to speak out against something morally reprehensible—even when your colleagues are involved? Is it more important to protect yourself than to come clean—to be honest—even if it means you must admit to wrongdoing and suffer further damage to your reputation?
Those of us who still have a moral compass know the answers to those questions.
It’s difficult to show your “shadow side” but necessary if you want to move into the light. Chopra knows this. He co-authored The Shadow Effect: Illuminating the Hidden Power of Your True Self with Debbie Ford and Marianne Williamson. The book discusses integrating repressed, darker sides of the personality to achieve wholeness and explains how acknowledging hidden fears and weaknesses turns destructive tendencies into strengths, leading to self-acceptance, improved relationships, and a more authentic life.
Chopra should role model what he teaches.
How Disciples Heal
I will repeat what I said earlier in this very long post: We need not throw out the baby with the bathwater. Much of the wisdom that such gurus as Chopra have bestowed upon us retains its value—even if tinged by what we now know about the human being.
I don’t condone the behavior. I am disappointed by the lack of a moral compass. I feel betrayed by an influential teacher I thought was a role model. Like Dr. Mills, it greatly saddens me to write about Chopra—or Wilde or Gafni—from this perspective.
But if I don’t speak up, I am complicit, too.
And if I remain silent, I can’t stand up for the many people negatively impacted by Chopra’s association with Epstein. They are heartbroken. They feel angry, betrayed, lied to, and disappointed, and they may be calling into question their own moral compass. After all, they followed Chopra; they put him on a pedestal.
To do my work in the world with integrity, I must address the issue of fallen gurus and how to cope with the empty pedestals left behind.
While my books and coaching represent small potatoes compared to those of Chopra and others like him, I hope someone will hold me accountable if I happen to gain notoriety and lose my moral compass. And I trust that the legacy I leave behind with my books, blogs, and coaching programs will retain their value… no matter what.
In the meantime, if your guru has been knocked off a pedestal, acknowledge:
- Your feelings…and allow yourself to feel them.
- Gurus are human and have flaws.
- The value you received from the teacher’s work.
- Who you have become because of what the guru taught you—their positive impact on you.
- You are okay now and will be okay.
- Your changed perspective on the person and the person’s work.
- It is safe to trust—and many teaches are trustworthy.
- Your fear of speaking up…and do it anyway.
- It is time to hold gurus accountable—to remain aligned with their message or face the consequences.
That’s how you recover from the trauma. Acknowledge, feel, take responsibility for yourself (and demand others do the same), show up authentically, and stand up for your values and morals. You also can align with new teachers and must learn to trust again.
Maybe the problem lies with our tendency…even desire…to call people gurus, put them on pedestals, and give them power. It’s our fault that we expect them to be perfect.
It’s time to stop encouraging them to climb onto pedestals or see them as gurus in the first place. After all, they are just human beings, albeit ones that may have something to teach us.
When we do find it necessary to knock gurus off their pedestals, we have an opportunity to learn a new lesson from them: be congruent and role model what you preach in both public and private. That’s a lesson we, hopefully, won’t forget.
How do you recover when your gurus fall off their pedestals? Tell me in a comment below. And please share this post with those who may benefit from reading it.
Image courtesy of fachrulrevlindi.
