I’ve been so proud of myself. In the last two weeks or so, I’ve listened to spirit’s call as well as to my desire to pursue my goals.
In other words, I’ve taken positive and inspired action. I’m making affirmations of action. In my case, this means writing and completing a new booklet and ebook based on one of my book projects: Navigating the Narrow Bridge, 7 Steps to Moving Forward Courageously Even When Life Seems Most Precarious. (No, I did not actually complete the full-length book, although I was pleased to discover that at one time I did complete almost half of the manuscript. I am, however, planning to revamp the book proposal and send it out…and possibly just finish the book and self-publish it. In the meantime, the ebook and booklet are finished and will soon be posted on my website. If you want one before then, shoot me an email and I can give you info on the ebook.)
I also have sent out numerous book proposals to publishers for my Jewish celebrity cookbook project, which was supposed to be published several years ago (but the publisher backed out at the last minute after the manuscript was complete) and two for other book projects of mine. I’m determined not to let all these projects just fester away in my computer.
So, I was feeling pretty good, actually. I’d even gotten a few really nice emails recently from people who had either read my blog or an article of mine posted on line, telling me I was making a difference with my writing. My podcasting partner, Bernadette Dimitrov (aka Mrs. Claus) also complimented me on my upcoming Valentine’s Day show and told me someone would surely discover me soon and scoop my book ideas and me up. I gave a talk this week and people seemed to be receptive to my ideas and to like my presentation.
Yes…I was feeling pretty good.
Then, on Sunday evening, I decided to call a publishing house simply to make sure it still existed. In the current publishing environment, many publishing houses have gone under, and this one was on a very old list put together by a now defunct association of Jewish publishers. Imagine my surprise to not only find the company alive and well but the publisher himself working on a Sunday night. He answered the phone and proceeded to have a long conversation with me.
Suffice it to say he didn’t encourage me in any way. First, he asked about the book I wanted to send – the cookbook, but he wasn’t interested and he didn’t offer much encouragement. Much to the contrary, he had many reasons why this book wouldn’t be picked up a publisher today – unless they had lots of money or I was a celebrity myself – and why I shouldn’t bother self-publishing it either (my final choice of what to do with it).
He also asked about a few of my other book projects. I managed to tell him about two, but he shot those down…not necessarily saying they weren’t worthy (actually recommending I approach a Jewish publishing house that I’ve been told to go to by quite a few people and that almost took one of my projects…if almost counts), but telling me how my book ideas wouldn’t attract a large enough audience, and I should come up with some new ideas.
By the time I managed to get off the phone with him…maybe 30 minutes later…I felt like I should throw in the towel.
So, why would this happen when I’ve been focusing my attention and energy so consistently on moving forward and achieving my goals? Why should it happen when I’ve been making affirmations of action – actually moving towards my goals by taking positive steps? It’s that old “response column” coming into play again.
What’s a response column? There’s an exercise you can do when you write affirmations (positive statements, such as “I am now a published author” or “I am now fit and trim and enjoy my ideal weight.”) that involves having a column where you write your affirmation and another where you write the first thought – or response – your subconscious mind brings up after you write it.
In other words, as you affirm that something is true in your life – something that may not yet be true, your mind throws at you all it’s arguments about why this isn’t true. It says, “Then where’s the book? No publishing house has agreed to take one of your manuscripts yet. You are flabby and 10 pounds over weight.” You get the idea. You know your subconscious mind has finished arguing about your affirmations when the only responses you get are positive ones. (To read more about this, you might want to check out this old blog post: http://purespiritcreations.com/wordpress/2008/05/07/affirmations-of-action-and-my-response-column/) Eventually,
Additionally, a response column is a bit like the idea that when you begin practicing deliberate or conscious creation, sometimes called The Law of Attraction, and start focusing on what you want, everything unlike what you want begins to show up. Why is this? Some say its the residual negative thinking coming into play. Some say it’s the Universe or Source Energy or God testing your will to see how badly you want what you say you want. I’m not sure why it works that way, but it often seems that just as you get most focused on what you want and try to plow forward towards your goals – and to stay positive – some outside force throws lots of the opposite at you (and lots of negativity).
What are we to do when this happens? I always ask myself how badly I really want this thing? In this case, how badly do I believe in what I’m doing and feel that trying to get my work published is the right path for me? Will I let one person sway my belief in myself and my work? Will I let the naysayer just increase my determination and drive to accomplish my goal? For me, it’s the latter. (Not to say the experience wasn’t a bit depressing…) And that sometimes I feel the need to think a bit about what is said to me and to ask myself if the fears or doubts expressed by ther person – that I have had myself – don’t have validity. If not, then I plow on.
Today, I began again. I sent out several book proposals. Then I got an email from a woman all the way on the opposite coast of the U.S. who is flying me in (actually gave me Frequent Flyer miles) to speak to a Hadassah group. She told me that someone else is bringing an additional group to hear me speak at Hadassah that night. And, one person in that group is going to miss my talk and wanted to hear what I had to say so badly that she asked permission to have someone videotape the talk for her. Wow.
Now that’s the kind of response I want in my response column. Is it possible I’m nearing the the point when I’ll only get positive responses? Wouldn’t that be nice!
And after that…the affirmations should begin to manifest!
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