“You don’t attract what you want. You attract what you are.” I remember the first time I read those words from Dr. Wayne Dyer.
So simple, yet so profound.
How I show up in the world—who I am at any given moment—dictates what I create. If I am angry, I will attract anger into my experience (or things to be mad about). If I am love and loving, I will create more love (and things to love). If I am abundance, I will experience abundance. The same goes for any quality I might express, including lack, health, ill health, relationships, jobs, etc.
I’d heard many explanations of the Law of Attraction, but Dyer’s seemed so right. Being the type of person who already has whatever I want makes it possible to receive that desire.
That made total sense to me. It still does.
After all, the Universe is an energetic place. If you step into that self—become it—you radiate the type of energy that allows you to create what you want. Like a magnet, it comes to you because you already the kind of person who would have whatever it is you wanted in the first place.
The Lottery Winner Phenomenon
If you don’t understand this concept, think of the typical lottery winner. If this person feels a great sense of lack but buys a lottery ticket on the off chance, he will win a fortune and place himself in a better financial situation, he isn’t actually ready to attract all that money.
Yet, he buys the ticket, and, by some chance—maybe some powerful positive thinking and visualizations about what he will do with the money—wins. And then, three years later, he’s more broke than he was before he won the money.
Why? Before—and after—he won, he wasn’t the type of person who felt abundant or knew how to handle that amount of money. If he had known how to be and experience prosperity, he likely wouldn’t have been broke in the first place.
And, if he still had the thought that he never has enough money—and that he doesn’t know how to handle money, that belief system would disallow him from experiencing prosperity for very long. Instead, he has to experience lack to prove himself (his thoughts) right.
No wonder Time and Fortune magazines have reported that 70 percent of lottery winners end up bankrupt within five years after receiving this financial windfall. The National Endowment for Financial Education denies the accuracy of this statistic. Still, the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reports that lottery winners are more likely to declare bankruptcy within three-to-five years than the average American. Plus, nearly one-third of lottery winners eventually declare bankruptcy.
If these lottery winners are people who feel a great sense of lack, who believe they are not good with money, that money is evil, or there isn’t enough to go around, surely, they will have a hard time hanging onto that sum of money for very long.
Being wealthy is not congruent with who they are or how they see themselves. So, these lottery winners lose the money almost as fast as they gained it.
Who Do You Want to Be?
I was reminded of Dyer’s words while listening to the audio version of Gabby Bernstein’s new book, Super Attractor. Once again, I resonated with them.
I realized that there was a link between this idea about attracting what we want and my Certified High Performance Coaching work.
Your ability to create what you want relies on having clarity about who you want to become as well as who you are now. Even if your life doesn’t reflect it yet, you have to be the type of person who would live that life.
While most of us can say with clarity, “I want to own a Ferrari,” “I want to be a millionaire,” “I want to meet my soul mate,” “I want perfect health,” or “(fill in what you want most),” we don’t always have a clear picture of the type of person who has that thing or quality. We don’t know how to be that person.
It can help to talk to Ferrari owners, for instance, or to sit in a Ferrari with your hands on the steering wheel and imagine driving down the highway, the engine roaring and your hair blowing in the wind.
You can experience being a millionaire by going to a five-star hotel—even bring a suitcase—and sit in the lobby as if you are expecting someone to meet you. Or get a cup of coffee in the restaurant, and maybe even chat with other guests.
Come as Who You Want to Be
I’ve written before about Jack Canfield’s “Come as You’ll Be in Five Years” dinner party]. And I still find this an excellent example of getting in the habit of being the type of person who can attract what you want.
Jack asks the guests to show up dressed as and acting as if they are their future selves. They come dressed as authors, millionaires, world-class athletes, and motivational speakers.
What would you dress up as? And how would you behave?
That last question is the most important. To follow Dyer’s advice, you have to demonstrate the qualities of the type of person who could have what you want.
So what qualities would you have to demonstrate? Can you demonstrate them daily—maybe by dressing the part every day, exercising in the same way, handling your money in a similar fashion, for instance?
Describe the Best Version of Yourself
Can you describe the best version of yourself—the person who would have all the things you want to manifest? And do you know if you are living those qualities now?
In my work as a Certified High Performance Coach, my clients and I work with this idea—even though I never mention the Law of Attraction. Yet, the concept is the same.
I ask my clients to choose words that describe the best version of themselves. They might choose three words that describe their most-successful self, for instance. They also can choose words related to their best selves in relationships or at work.
Then, I ask them to place these words somewhere they see them a minimum of once per day. (I usually suggest three times per day. ) They could put them on sticky notes in their cars, on their bathroom mirrors, and on the refrigerator, for example. Or they could create appointments on their digital calendars or reminders on their phones.
Each time they see the sticky note, appointment, or reminder, they are not just supposed to read the words. Instead, they are to ask themselves if they are living into those words at that exact moment. Are they demonstrating those characteristics?
When they can say “yes” to that query consistently, they are ready to create what they want. They have become the type of person who can attract that desire.
How to Create What You Want
So, who do you have to be to have what you want? What characteristics would you have to demonstrate? How would you have to show up every day?
Make a list of those characteristics. Then choose the three or four that seem most important. Find a way to remind yourself of those words several times each day.
And each time you remind yourself of those words, ask yourself, “Is this who I am being at this moment?” If so, then expect what you want to show up soon.
The vibration you put out when you are the type of person who already has what you want attracts that desire to you. And, when you are that type of person, you will know how to care for your creations, so you don’t lose it.
Who do you need to become to create what you want? Tell me in a comment below. And if you enjoyed this post, share it with someone you know.
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