Mother’s Day represents a wonderful idea turned into another overly commercialized holiday that tends to be pretty empty at best. I admit that most people do honestly want to remember and appreciate their mother’s, but the way in which they do so could be improved.
For Jews, Mother’s Day is just another secular holiday that has absolutely nothing to do with Judaism. Yet most Jews-especially those here in the United States-celebrate it anyway. Jewish moms will find themselves showered with cards, candy and gifts, just like mother’s of other religions, and they’ll gladly accept them.
I don’t really have a problem with this. I just prefer that the holiday not be celebrated in an empty manner but, instead, be meaning-full and spirit-full. Often times the purchasing of all these simply represents a thoughtless buy into the commercialization of the holiday.
I guess some could argue that the commercialization of Mother’s Day makes more people observe the holiday, and, therefore, pay tribute to their mother’s. I still argue that there is a better way to show your mother you care than simply buying something or going out to eat.
I think efforts to care for mothers on Mother’s Day serves as a great way to honor any mom, since mothers cares for others all the time. It’s nice for moms to have a day off and be coddled and cared for and told they are special and appreciated. Motherhood is often a very underappreciated job and one that has no clock-in or clock-out time. I think cooking for her or taking her out to eat is great, but besides that, why not do something truly meaningful like: writing her a poem; making her a gift (sewing her a shirt, knitting her a scarf, painting her a picture, creating a bracelet); writing her a letter telling her how much you love her; listing all the things she’s done for you that you appreciate and laminating it or framing it; giving her some IOUs for chores around the house or meals cooked; or writing an apology for past bad behavior.
These are things she’ll treasure and really appreciate. They come from your heart, not from the store. You don’t have to use my suggestions. Actually search your heart. What would you or could you give your mother that would really tell her how much she means to you? Then give her that.
For those who want to make this day spiritual, all they need only focus upon honoring the Divine Feminine, whatever that means for them. For Christians, it could be Mary. For Jews, it could be the Shechinah. For Hindus, it could be Shakti. Or it could be Mother Nature. The Divine Feminine has a place in almost every religious or spiritual tradition, and it’s very powerful no matter its name.
Looking at Mother’s Day through a Jewish lens, the woman of any Jewish household has a very important role. Traditionally, she helps educate the children Jewishly, she prepares the home and the meals for all the Jewish holidays-especially Shabbat, and she has the honor of lighting the Shabbat candles to usher in not only the Sabbath but the Shechinah, or the Divine Feminine. Anyone who has read any of my writing knows I believe that her duties mimic those of the priests in the ancient temple in Jerusalem. She prepares the temple-the home, beautifies the altar-the dinner table, lights the temple lights-the candles, and invokes God’s presence by saying the blessing over the candles on many holidays and every Friday on Shabbat.
Additionally, women who cook for their families, especially if they keep a kosher home, have more reasons to be honored on Mother’s Day. They help the family adhere to religious dietary laws. And the prayers and blessings that observant women say over the food as they prepare it are said to have powerful spiritual influences over the amount of or primi, or inner light, achieved by those eating the meal-the children and the husband. Eating actually constitutes a spiritual act resulting in the creation of or primi and represents a process that nourishes the soul’s sanctuary-the body. The digested food becomes blood,the medium thorugh which ruach hachayim, the spirit of life, passes. Thus, by offering the family a beautiful Shabbat dinner-or any meal that she has consciously prepared-a Jewish mother helps the family develop their life spirit. That’s a pretty good reason to honor her.
I always wondered wether it was because of the woman’s role in the home that Jewish men say to their wives the Woman of Valor, or Eshet Chayil, blessing on Shabbat. A Woman of Valor is a 22-verse poem with which King Solomon concludes the book of Proverbs (Proverbs 31). The poem has an acrostic arrangement in which the verses begin with the letters of the Hebrew alphabet in regular order. The poem describes a woman of valor as someone energetic, righteous, and capable.
Even if it isn’t your family’s tradition to say the Woman of Valor blessing on Shabbat, you could say it on Mother’s Day. Maybe write it in your wife’s Mother’s Day card to give it a Jewish flavor.
If you want to learn more about the Woman of Valor blessing, or if you would like to know the words to the blessing itself, you can find the information here.
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