I don’t like being called a “control freak.” If I’m being honest, though, I have to admit I like to feel in control. Yet, trying to control everything all the time is hard, and most of us want things to be easy. I know I do.
So, I’ve stopped trying to control everything. Instead, I focus on allowing things to be easy.
You are Not in Control
If 2020 and 2021 taught us anything, it’s that we are not in control of a lot of things. But we want, try, and work hard to maintain control. And that’s exhausting…and impossible.
There are so many things we try to control, such as other people, situations, finances, health, relationships, and career. But there is really only one thing we can control: ourselves. And in some cases, even that seems impossible!
So, instead of attempting to control everything, allow it all to be easy. You might remind yourself of this by going to Staples and getting an easy button!
When you allow things to be easy, you discover you have more control than you think. After all, everything is energy.
The energy of control is a low frequency. On the other hand, the energy of ease—as well as of allowing—is a high frequency. Therefore, attempts to control block the magic available to you while the energy of allowing opens you to an abundance of miracles.
The more you focus on allowing things to be easy, the less difficult it becomes to get the desired outcomes. In fact, you will discover that it’s easy to get exactly what you desire.
Controlling My Move
For the past six weeks or so, “Let it be easy” has been my mantra. And it’s working much better for me than trying to control. I realized I had to give up any attempt to control when my husband and I decided to move from California to New Mexico.
I encountered a variety of issues I really, really wanted to control. For example, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t sell or even give away some large pieces of furniture in my home. I didn’t understand why it seemed difficult to even donate the items. I couldn’t make someone take them unless I paid to haul them to the dump.
Additionally, we ran into supply chain issues when we tried to purchase a washer and drier, mattress, and bedroom furniture. Many stores couldn’t guarantee delivery dates since the items weren’t in stock. Plus, their delivery estimates were long after we were scheduled to move in.
Also, we tore out all the rugs in the new home and planned to replace them with luxury vinyl flooring. But we were told the flooring that matched the existing tiles in the house would not be available until May. That meant all three bedrooms and their closets, as well as one office, would have cement for that period. Despite our efforts to find a different option, all the other samples failed to match the existing tile correctly.
Out of My Hands
I quickly realized that I could do little to solve these problems. They were totally out of my hands.
I couldn’t twist people’s arms to purchase or take my unwanted items into their homes. I couldn’t make shipments come in or demand that deliveries be made on my timeline.
Therefore, I had to make a choice. I could continue struggling to find options—or take the hard route. Or I could make decisions and allow everything to fall into place based on those choices—the path of least resistance.
So, I made decisions because that was easier.
The Decisions I Made
The first decision I made was to allow everything to be easy. Several of my coaches had been telling me to “let it be easy,” but I had continued to try and control and make things hard. This decision was the most important one I made.
With that focus, I made other decisions. For instance, I chose to give all the remaining furniture—large, gorgeous, expensive items—away and, if no one took them, pay someone to take them to the local dump. I decided to no longer worry about what to do with them.
Then I decided to purchase essential items for the new house only from stores with items in stock. My husband and I went to several stores for the washer, drier, and mattress, and if the sales rep said the items were in the warehouse, we purchased them. We did not price shop but made our decisions based on immediate availability.
As for bedroom furniture, which was not essential (as long as we had a mattress), we chose what we liked most and agreed to be fine with waiting for delivery. We were told a shipment was likely to arrive in late February, but the salesman said, “Don’t hold me to that.” So we ordered and decided to use our mattress on the floor if necessary.
When it came to the flooring, we decided to purchase the style we really wanted, even if we had to wait months for it. After all, who wants to live for years in a home with flooring you settled for?
But I decided to make a few calls in case we could find someone who could get the flooring to us faster. After only two calls, I found a distributor whose rep said we might have the shipment by mid-February. That was a far cry better than May!
Then I stopped worrying about things that were out of my control—whether or not the items would show up on my preferred schedule.
The Magic of Allowing Things to Be Easy
What happened due to my decision to allow things to be easy—and all the subsequent decisions that aligned with the first one—was miraculous.
First, one of the largest items on my list of furniture that couldn’t accompany us on our move sold…not for much, but it sold. And this happened despite friends telling me this particular item would never sell, and I’d have to donate it.
Second, all the other unwanted items left the house…in the nick of time. They were all donated, but none of them ended up in the dump, which made me very happy.
Third, the furniture for the bedroom began to arrive the first week we were in the house. We had been sleeping on the new mattress on the floor for a few days, but the sales rep called to say the bed frame had arrived that same week, and he expected more shipments to come in the next few weeks.
Finally, when I called to check on the flooring shipment and delivery, I was told it would be in New Mexico by the end of the following week. So instead of having to wait five months for it, we would only have to wait about two weeks total before installation could begin.
I could hardly believe how easy all of these things came together. But I learned an essential lesson: stop controlling and allow things to be easy.
Would You Rather be in Control or Happy?
I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be happy than in control. And what I’ve discovered is that it’s almost impossible to be happy and try to control everything. Since there is literally no way to control everything, trying to accomplish this feat is frustrating, unsatisfying, and exhausting and leads to continual unhappiness.
So my mantra continues to be “allow it to be easy.” At the moment, I’m trying to find a package receipt for tracking purposes…since it never showed up where it was meant to go. But I keep affirming, “I allow it be easy! Let it be easy!” I imagine it suddenly being delivered without me even finding that tracking number.
Everything can be easy if you allow it to be. And the focus on easy attracts what you desire into your experience. Trying to control repels it.
Have you had miracles happen when you allow things to be easy? Tell me about your experience in a comment below. And please share this post with someone who is unhappily trying to control too many things.
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