How to Stop Being a Victim of Circumstance

take responsibilty for your lifeDo you believe the circumstances of your life are out of your control? If so, you allow yourself to become a victim of circumstance. And no one likes being a victim.

Victims feel powerless and believe they lack control. It’s no wonder. Victimhood is the mindset that something or someone has power over you. It is the sense that you cannot control what happens in your life.

What is a Victim?

Consider the definition of a victim:

  • Someone or something that has been hurt, damaged, or killed or has suffered, either because of the actions of someone or something else, or because of illness or chance.
  • A person who suffers from a destructive or injurious action or agency.
  • A person who is deceived or cheated, as by their own emotions or ignorance, by the dishonesty of others, or by some impersonal agency.

According to these definitions, you can be the victim of an accident, misplaced confidence, a hacker, a disease, or an optical illusion. If you believe these definitions are valid, you also think you have no personal power or control over such circumstances.

That’s not true.

Notice that one definition includes being deceived or cheated, as by their own emotions or ignorance. In this case, the person—you—has the power to change that circumstance. You have control over your feelings and can decide to become more knowledgeable and take action to make that happen.

That power and control apply to everything all the time.

The Victim Mentality

Of course, sometimes things happen. For example, you get raped, a driver hits your car head-on, your spouse abuses you, or your identity gets stolen. In such cases, it’s common and understandable to consider yourself “a victim.”

However, you may then live the rest of your life believing you are a victim. “Victim” becomes your new identity.

When that happens, you give away your personal power and ability to control yourself and your life. You adopt a victim mentality.

Choose to Be Powerful

Actually, you have the power to see yourself differently—to choose an identity that does not give away your power.

You can control your attitude or mindset…no matter what “happens to you.” You do not have to choose to be a victim or to live in victimhood.

Instead, you can choose to take back your power. Be a powerful person—make that your new identity.

Living from Circumstance

If you don’t choose to be powerful, you remain a victim of circumstance. And you live your life from circumstance.

As long as you live from circumstance, you allow situations or the conditions of your life to have power over you. For example, you’ll claim you can’t leave your marriage because you aren’t earning enough money, write and publish a book because of what your friends or family will think, or enter a weight lifting contest because you are too old.

Living from Responsibility

The opposite of living from circumstance is living from responsibility. Of course, you are always responsible for every aspect of your life, but you may not realize this fact. And it’s highly likely you don’t take responsibility for yourself and your life.

There is no reason to tolerate your current circumstances or allow them to have power over you. You can change them. You have the power and ability to do so.

You have control over yourself, your choices, your commitments, your actions, and your responses—always. You possess personal power.

Stop giving that power away. And stop blaming anything outside yourself for your circumstances.

Stop being the victim of:

  • Your boss
  • Your job
  • Your partner
  • Your financial situation
  • Your health
  • Your living situation

As long as you allow your circumstances to dictate your choices and decisions, you give away your power. Plus, you avoid taking responsibility for yourself, your choices, and your actions.

Take responsibility and everything…everything…changes.

5 Ways to Take Back Your Power

Even if your mind says you can’t change anything or none of it is your fault or responsibility, you can take back your power. The following five tips can help you become responsible for your life.

1. Acknowledge that everything changes all the time. Thus, it makes sense that you do and can change. Additionally, you can change your identity and circumstances with just one new choice, decision, action, or commitment.

2. Stop tolerating. Victims tolerate a lot of things, and therefore, feel unhappy, frustrated, and stuck. If you can move into acceptance, you feel peaceful and stop complaining or blaming anyone or anything. But suppose you are tolerating and can’t get to a place of acceptance. In that case, it’s time to take responsibility for creating change.

3. Be responsible. Make responsibility one of your highest values. Every day you have choice. You can choose to blame or take responsibility. From a spiritual perspective, you create everything in your life—even the so-called “bad” stuff. Now is the time to be responsible for creating what you want.

4. Take new action. You can bitch and moan until doomsday; that’s your choice. You also can do something different. You can choose a new action that creates a better result—a new circumstance. Be responsible for creating the life you want.

5. See circumstances as changeable.  Just as everything changes, so do circumstances. Watch them change as you become a person who takes responsibility for your life.

3 Steps Toward Responsibility

I know taking responsibility for your circumstances feels hard and scary. Being a victim often feels easier. After all, you can put all the blame on someone or something else. And you can sit back and comfortably—or uncomfortably—abdicate.

But taking responsibility can be easy and fast. It can happen in the instant you realize staying in a situation (or getting out) is your choice! You are responsible for changing whatever circumstance you don’t like.

You can stand in your power, take control of your life, and make a new choice. You can decide to get out of your current circumstance.


First, stop complaining and blaming! No more saying, “He’s abusive,” “She doesn’t appreciate me,” “My boss won’t promote me,” or “It’s his/her fault.”

Second, stop making excuses—“I don’t have the time (or money),” “I have too many responsibilities,” or “There are no jobs.”

Third, know you have everything you need right now inside to change your circumstances. All it takes is the belief that change is up to you. Then, do something to cause change.

Are you a victim of circumstance or responsible for your life? Tell me in a comment below, and please share this post with someone who needs to read it right now.

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