If you’ve hung around in any kind of metaphysical, New-Agey, woo-woo circles, you’ve probably heard the saying, “The universe has your back.” And if you’ve been following me for any length of time, you know I have repeated the very same words.
But the saying isn’t true…not really.
When someone says, “The universe has your back,” they mean you can trust that the Universe, like a dependable friend, will stand up for you and help you when necessary. It’s there, right behind your shoulder, looking out for you. If you fall, and it’s ready to catch you.
Well, that’s not totally correct.
This past week I heard something contradictory that rang true for me. I was told, “The Universe only has your back if you have your back.”
Read that again.
I’ve often written and spoken about how everything around us is a mirror of what you think, feel, and do. The Universe reflects everything about you 100 percent of the time. If you want to know what you are thinking, feeling, doing, and creating, just look at your life.
Therefore, it makes total sense that if you have your back, the Universe reflects that to you as well. If you don’t have your back, don’t expect the Universe to have it for you. You can trust the Universe to show up for you to the same extent you show up for yourself.
An Impartial Universe
The Universe—or God, Creator, Source—is impartial. Whatever you say you desire, it reflects. It doesn’t test you. It doesn’t support you. It just reflects you—100% of the time.
That’s why it’s so important to think positive thoughts, imagine what you want, and behave in a manner that corresponds with who you want to be and the experiences and situations you’d like to have. If you don’t, you see and experience something different…something you may not enjoy or want.
Why? Because the Universe is reflecting your thoughts, feelings, and ways of being in the world. Change those, and what you see changes. This is a way of supporting yourself—having your back. Do that, and the Universe will support you at an equivalent level.
Show up in ways that are aligned with what you want and who you want to be, and you’ll see and experience situations that align with that. Have your own back, and the Universe responds in kind. You’ll see that response reflected back to you.
Stop Expecting the Universe to Have Your Back
If you go around thinking that the Universe has your back, you believe that, no matter what you do, the Universe will take care of you. This belief is like expecting God to save you whenever you get in a tough spot.
In this scenario, you stay the same—continue thinking the same thoughts and behaving in the same way—but expect things to change. And when they stay the same or get worse, you also expect God to save you—to have your back by changing the situation for you.
But you don’t do anything to improve yourself or your situation. You don’t have your back. As a result, the Universe doesn’t have your back either.
It’s as simple as that. And no amount of petitionary prayers will change anything. Only you can initiate the change you desire. The Universe will then respond to that effort.
So, don’t expect the Universe to have your back unless you do, too.
How to Have Your Own Back
Having your back is not putting your head in a hole and expecting to pull it out and have the world be different. That’s just not how it works.
Having your own back means being the creator of your life and your experiences. Make it your business—not the Universe’s business—to create the change you desire. Show up as the best version of yourself. Take action to create the life you want. As you do, the Universe will reflect that to you.
In other words, show up as the person that can have the things and experiences you want to have. Daily, take action towards being that person. Think, feel, and do the things that support having what you want. That’s you having your back.
When you have your back, you look at a problem or challenge and say, “I have the solution,” or “Everything comes easily to me.” When you see something you want, you say, “I have ____,” and then behave in the way someone who would have that would act.
You don’t stay stuck in your stories and negative thoughts. And you don’t remain mired in your habitual—and unsupportive—behaviors. You think and do something new that aligns with who you want to be and what you want to create. That’s you having your back.
Create a Plan to Have Your Back
I know all of this seems easier said than done. To help you start having your back, crack out a journal, and go through this three-part exercise.
- Determine where you’re expecting God or the Universe to take care of or fix things for you—without you doing anything different.
- Then, identify where you need to do a better job of having your back. These are areas in which you are not thinking or behaving in a manner that would help you create what you want. (They might be the same areas you identified in your answer to the first question, or they might be different.) Ask yourself: Where am I not showing up how I need to show up to create the change I desire?
- Create an action plan that details all the things you need to be and do to have your back. How will you show up or “be” in the world? What will you do, or what actions will you take? How will you think?
Put the Plan Into Action
As an example, let’s say your relationship with your significant other is failing. You are always focused on the problems, complaining about your partner, and worrying about how you’ll support yourself if you break up. You wish something would change—that the Universe, with all its benevolence, would transform the situation. And you are waiting for that to happen.
Obviously, your relationship is an area of your life where you do not have your back. You’re doing nothing to create a different situation; in fact, you are doing a lot to worsen it. It stays the same or gets worse because the Universe is, once again, reflecting the fact that you do not have your back. Your thoughts and actions simply perpetuate the relationship issues.
Having your back requires answering these questions: “How do I need to change so I can alter the situation? “What kind of relationship do I want to create and with whom? What do I have to do to take care of myself financially? How do I take care of myself in this situation?”
Once you have clarity—a vision of the relationship and situation you want to create— you can decide how to make that happen. You can choose to change yourself by taking the actions you identified.
For instance, stop complaining about and finding fault with your partner. Instead, feel gratitude for the relationship and appreciate the qualities that made you fall in love. Decide how to earn enough money to feel financially independent; then, take the actions required to increase your income. And decide how you need to be in a relationship and businesses to succeed at both. Then, be that person.
Do these things, and you will see a reflection of those changes in your relationship and your income level. You will have your back, and the Universe will, too.
Stop expecting the Universe to take care of you. Instead, expect that of yourself. Have your own back, and the Universe will have it, too.
What would it look like for you to show up every day as the person who has your own back? Tell me in a comment below. And please share this post with your social network or someone you feel will benefit.
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Photo courtesy of Maxim Evdokimov .
I totally enjoyed and agree w your article Nina. It’s definitely Inspirational, as well as serving a personal reminder about the importance of “staying on point”.
Thanks for taking the time…
Blessings
J*
Thanks for your comment, Joseph. It means a lot to me.
Wow! Your article was extremely refreshing! For years I followed the advice of, “the Universe has your back” and I lost so much. I struggled financially for years, hoping the Universe would give me help as many spiritual teachers said it (the Universe) would. After all, I am a vibrational being and all I have to do is vibrate abundance and ‘Source’ would simply pour buckets of money on my, right? DEAD WRONG!!! For years I would spend many hours meditating each day, working with crystals, working on my vibration, visualizing, scripting, and chanting instead of working on my business, only to watch my finances go down to nearly ZERO and barley getting by! Somehow I believed if I were “tuned into Source” my money manifestations would manifest in my life. In short, VERY little manifested. I was barley getting by. After many years of living this way, I began to ask myself if I was missing something. (DUH!). Later I realized that “Source” couldn’t be resourceful until I became resourceful enough to begin being more resourceful wih my time like using more of my time working on my business and not spending half the day doing “spiritual stuff!” Thankfully, my life experience is much better than it was back then! I can only hope that you will continue to share this teaching and restore balance to the spiritual community. Blessings!
Thank you for being a voice of reason in a sea of toxic spirituality. I have held to this belief as well. About a year ago I left a stressful nursing job to follow a different career path. I believed the Universe would take care of us financially but didn’t have a solid plan…BUT if I am ‘in the flow’ and always have my ‘vibe right’, we would be taken care of. That mentality almost got my car repossessed, the bills were months behind, and I stressed over getting our basic needs met. This created incredible stress for my two kids and I and it is difficult to be creative when you are in survival mode. I forgot that we are co-creators with the Universe and that in order to steer a bicycle you first must begin pedaling. I may not be able to leave traditional nursing right now but I did attract to me a job that allows me to work around my family’s schedule and be at home more and for almost the same amount of money. Now I can create a plan based on my values and know the Universe will support me by providing the opportunities and divine appointments to open those doors. When I was depending on (rather than co-creating with) the Universe I was giving my power away and placing the responsibility of my financial well being on something outside of me, when the power was in me the whole time.
I love this, Cindy! Thanks for your comment. I really appreciate it.
So, I’ve invested my time, money, on books, spiritual things, psychology books, prayed and begged to God to help me change my situation despite.me putting in the effort , all I got was poverty, bills, more suffering ,near eviction ,bad friendships,
how does one really believe in oneself without begging, ask God/Universe to help when life seems so harsh and cruel?
It’s not just about God/Universe. It’s about you and your habits and beliefs. You have to change from the inside to see change on the outside. And the more you ask for help, the less you are helping yourself…or affirming you need help. We live in a physical world; action is required. Take bold action that is different…and believe you can do it. Then the Universe will co-create with you. If you want more coaching, please consider joining the Inspired Creator Community (https://ninaamir.com/icc-2022/).