The financial crisis seems to be hitting too close to home these days. Here on my homefront, got debt we can’t seem to get paid off. Each time I get the credit cards a bit lower, I find that I have to charge something else. My son’s hospital stays this summer left us with additional debt. And we’ve got a big mortgage to boot.
My job as a freelance writer and editor remains tenuous at even the best of times. During a recession writers pull in their purse straps like everyone else; they don’t want to hire editors. Luckily, magazines still need articles, but most don’t pay well or quickly enough to pay my bills each month.
Then there’s the fact that my husband’s company is being sold. We knew it would be – he was hired to make it profitable and then get it sold, but the economy caused the company’s market to plummet. Now it has to be sold all the faster- profitable or not. Contracts signed are null and void. New contracts are being drawn up, but we have to wait to see what they hold for us. Only one fact is known: Soon my husband will need a new job. He’ll be out of work. No paycheck will arrive each week to pay any bills.
I paid bills today. Or, I should say, I tried to pay bills today. I paid as many as I could, putting off some until later. Hopefully, more money will come in by then. But taxes are due. The kids activity expenses have to be paid as well. And then there are all the things I need to pay for but simply can’t – tree work, house painting, new windows, a new car…
So, what’s a poor woman to do when the financial crisis hits? Open her hand. I know, instinct would have me close it tightly around the little money I do have. Spiritual wisdom says that with a closed hand I cannot receive anything…not even a penny. I have to open my hand, even if the money in it flies away or drops out for someone else to find.
Better yet, I have to give…a little change to the guy at the red light with the sign that says he’s homeless. There, but for the grace of God, go I. I have to give a dollar at the grocery story checkout to cancer research; a friend just died from the disease, but I, thank God, am healthy. I have to offer to pay even a little for the class I take from a friend who says I can attend for free, because he gives me spiritual sustenance and, I would like to receive the same if it were me offering the class.
And I give in other ways….time, attention, old clothes, a smile, a good deed…
And in the giving I receive some pleasure. And the pleasure opens me up to receiving, because as long as I am stuck in the fear and depression and anxiety of not having enough, I am closed, like my fist, and unable to allow in anything, including abundance and prosperity. But if I feel good, I begin to relax and open, like a hand whose fingers uncurl and make a space for something to rest on the palm. And once open, I can let in the abundance and prosperity.
And I have to be grateful for what I do receive…a penny found on the ground, a check that does arrive in the mail, a new assignment, a call from a friend, a hug from my husband, another week of work, a note from my child, a piece of hot, buttery home-made bread…
Even though it’s hard, when the financial crisis hits, open your hand rather than closing it. You’ll feel better if you do, and you might be surprised at the results.
Judaism is filled with stories of poor people with hardly enough for themselves giving their last morsel of food to strangers who show up at their doors. These strangers inevitably turn out to be Elijah, The Prophet, who then showers them with abundance and prosperity. The message seems clear: Give even when you don’t feel you have enough and you will be rewarded. However, it’s important to note that these people don’t give to get anything. They simply give because it is the right thing to do. And for that they are rewarded. So, don’t get caught in the giving-to-get trap. Find a place within yourself that gives for the right reasons. Try to be a tzaddik, a righteous person. Open your hand to give…and leave it open to receive.
