Most of us are ingrained with a huge desire to be right. We hate to admit we are wrong. And we argue that we are right without thought to the effects of that argument rather than say the dreaded words, “I was wrong.”
But the results of doing so can be dire. They can affect our relationships, our success, and even our sense of self.
It’s time to fess up. Admit it. Confess.
You were wrong—about something!
I shot the video for this post last week without thought to the fact that the Jewish High Holy Days were imminent. In fact, I’m writing this post on Erev Rosh Hashanah, the day before the Jewish New Year starts.
For the next 10 days, I’ll be thinking about how I’ve “missed the mark” this year—how I’ve “sinned” or been or done wrong. Doing so requires that I admit to my failings and to how I might have hurt others.
That’s tough to do at any time of the year. It requires that I acknowledge where I could have done a better job of being my best self. And where I fought to hang onto a belief that I was right—in my words, actions, or beliefs—when, in fact, I was wrong.
“I was wrong…”
I’ve spent a good bit of this last 12 months looking at myself and my relationships, in particular with my husband. On numerous occasions, I’ve had to admit, “I was wrong.”
It wasn’t easy to admit to myself. But there was a freedom in doing so.
Even more freedom came from speaking the words aloud. My admission diffused all blame and anger at whomever I previously pointed the finger at and claimed was at fault. Taking personal responsibility made it possible for me to get out of negative interactions that blocked honesty and intimacy.
Set a New Mark
Afterward, I could decide to believe and behave differently. I could “set a new mark” for who I wanted to be and how I wanted to show up in the world as well as in my relationships.
That’s part of the process Jews go through at this time of year. We look at the targets we set up last year and determine if we hit them. If we didn’t, we must repent for not hitting the mark and then set new targets.
The targets could be for anything, including thinking more positively, giving charity, being more honest with family members, being more authentic, taking better care of our bodies, becoming a better provider, or pursuing God-given talents.
But before we move forward and begin shooting for those new targets, we must repair the wrongs. Before we can do that, we have to admit we were or did wrong. In many cases, we might say, “I’m sorry…I was wrong…I didn’t do what I said I would…I missed the target…” to ourselves. In other cases, we might say it to someone else or event to God.
And then…we set a new mark.
Maybe this year, hitting a bull’s eye means giving up the need to be right and opting, instead, to admit when you are wrong. That will definitely be one of my targets.
Can you admit you were wrong? Tell me in a comment below.
Never miss one of my videos! Click here to subscribe to my YouTube channel.