You want your life to change, so you consider moving to a new location. You reason that a different home or environment surely will alter your circumstances or results. Unfortunately, that’s not true. In fact, a move is no solution to whatever ails you since, as the adage points out, “Wherever you go, there you are.”
I do understand the belief that things will be different if you shake up your life and move. After all, I recently moved to New Mexico and hoped the high vibration of the desert would be more conducive to my creativity and writing.
Truth be told, sometimes a move does offer an opportunity for change or forces change upon you. But living somewhere different isn’t enough to sustain new mindsets and habits. And a move won’t change what you create in your life—or mine—either. Your results will remain the same.
You Go With You
Moving isn’t enough to change your results because you take you with you wherever you go. You can move clear across the world and still be there—same old thoughts, same old beliefs, same old habits, same old problems, same old everything.
The reason for this is simple: your identity doesn’t change simply because you move. And since your habits and results flow out of identity, everything remains the same. So as long as you are still you, you will do the same things as before and get the same results or recreate the same circumstances.
When you pack up and move, you bring your emotional baggage along—your old stories, beliefs, and identity. You may want to leave this “trash” in your old home, but you drag it along. Even if you think you dumped it in a garbage can before setting out for your new home, you’ll find it in your suitcase or boxes when you unpack.
Most of this baggage is stored in your subconscious mind. So, the stories, beliefs, and identity stick with you until you do the internal work to eliminate or change it.
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You have to Change to Create Change
And the only way for a different location to impact your results or what you create is for you to be different. When you change, everything around you changes. And if you choose a new identity, you will do different things that align with who you are being. And that’s when you create something new or different as well.
Before I moved to New Mexico, I knew I had to do some personal and spiritual growth work on myself. Otherwise, I’d live in a new place but have the old habits and challenges as when I lived in California.
For things to be different after the move, I had to change old stories and create new habits before I moved. And for that to happen, first, I had to alter my identity. Specifically, I had to see myself as a creative person and a writer again. By being a “writer,” I would develop aligned ways of being. In other words, if I identified as a writer, I would write. After all, writers write.
I knew that if I didn’t make that internal change before I moved, nothing would change externally either. So I’d be in my new office in my new house, but I still wouldn’t be writing. I’d still be the old me with the same behaviors.
You have to be different for a new place to impact your results. Therefore, before you move, identify and resolve any old stories, misguided beliefs, and unsupportive ways of seeing yourself or the world.
If you don’t want to do that…stay put. Don’t move at all, because that physical action won’t create transformation on any level.
Or, if you are willing, commit to changing yourself. Then watch as your external world changes to align with your new identity.
Change Your Stories, Change Your Results
If you don’t understand what I mean by “your stories,” let me explain. When you experience anything, you interpret that event and give it meaning. That meaning births beliefs about yourself, others, and the world. Of course, your new “story” is just your interpretation of what happened—not the truth, yet it impacts your identity and worldview.
Until you change your story, your identity, behavior, and mindset remain unchanged.
For instance, if your first husband cheated on you, moving won’t change the fact that you believe men can’t be trusted. Nor will it change your identity since you think you’re a person who men cheat on.
To find a man you can trust, first, you have to heal that wound and change your beliefs about yourself and men. For example, change your story, “Men cheat on me,” to, “I am a person who attracts men who can be trusted.” Or chose to believe, “Men can be trusted,” or “There are committed and honest men.” Then, decide, “I attract men who are committed and trustworthy. That’s who I am.”
Your belief flows out of your identity. Let’s say you believe, “I am the type of person who can attract committed and trustworthy men.” Then, you also will believe, “There are men who are committed and trustworthy.”
Here’s another example. Suppose you believe you are a person who is not good with money. In that case, you can’t just move to an apartment complex that charges lower rent or a home with a smaller mortgage and expect to have more money. Sure, your rent or mortgage costs less, but you’re still the same person who believes you aren’t good with money.
To have more money, you have to decide to be someone great at managing money. Then do the things someone with that identity would do, like live within a budget or invest. You can win the lottery and find yourself bankrupt two years later if you don’t change your identity.
Nothing changes unless you change.
How to Create Change Right Where You Are
You have to change your story and identity to proactively create change right where you are. So, how do you do that?
Discover Your Identity and Story
First, identify the negative things you often say about yourself. Not sure? Ask a good friend, “What stories do I often tell, or what negative things do I often say about myself?”
Or spend some time journaling an answer to this question: “How or when do I see myself negatively?” The feedback others give, coupled with your answer to the question above, will provide insight into your beliefs and stories about yourself.
And those stories are an indication of your identity. They illustrate who you believe you are.
You might say things like:
- “I never earn enough money.”
- “I mismanage my money.”
- “I’m a lousy parent.”
- “I can’t write.”
- “I’m bad at math.”
- “I can’t stick to a diet.”
- “I always attract abusive relationships.”
- “I’m not good enough.”
Each statement is a story about your identity. It’s who you believe you are.
Choose a New Identity
Second, determine who you need to be to have what you want. Perhaps you want better relationships, more money, good health, or to become an author. Who do you need to be to do the things that will allow you to have that?
For instance, if you want good health, maybe you need to be someone who eats a healthy diet or exercises daily. Or, if you want better relationships, perhaps you need to be a good communicator, love yourself, or be authentic.
And if you want a better financial situation, perhaps you need to be someone who charges what they’re worth, saves a little bit each month, or is good at managing money.
Identify Aligned Actions
Third, identify actions that align with the new identity you have chosen. To discover the actions you need to take, fill in the blanks in this statement: ***If I were a person who ____ (attracts soulmate partners, is financially independent, or lives a healthy lifestyle), I would _____(join an online dating app, start my own business, exercise daily).” ***
Also, fill in the blank or this statement: ***If I were a person who____(identity), I would ____(behavior).” *** For example, “If I were a committed person, I would block time on the calendar weekly to work toward my goals.”
Here are some more examples of actions based on identities related to health, relationships, and finances. Maybe you would:
- only buy healthy food at the grocery store
- not eat after 8:00 pm
- ask better questions
- follow your intuition
- assume the best of people
- hire an investment advisor
- create a budget and use it
Make a list of actions that align with your new identity. So, if you decide: “I’m a person who makes health a priority,” you are also a person who only buys healthy food.
Then, take this identity to a new place, and things will be different!
Change Your Identity and Everything Else Changes
This is how you create change…not by moving. First, you do the deep internal work to change who you are BEING—the personal growth work. Then, you align your actions with that identity and create a new situation or new results.
Only by changing yourself will you change your situation. Then, wherever you go, there you are being a new person and creating new results.
Have you ever moved and gotten lasting new results? Tell me about that and how you handled the situation by leaving a comment below. And please share this post with a friend.
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