A Powerful Skill Everyone Needs to Develop

There’s a powerful skill everyone needs to develop to get what they want in life. It’s the ability to ask for what you desire.

Too many people are afraid to speak up and ask for what is important to them. As a result, they either find it difficult to create their desires or never get them.

That’s unfortunate… Asking might be the only thing preventing them from getting what they want.

Why You Don’t Ask for What You Want

You may not want to ask for what you want for various reasons, most of which likely stem from fear. For example, you may not speak up because:

  • You are afraid to tell someone what you want.
  • You are afraid people will see you in a negative light, such as thinking you are pushy, too outspoken, or demanding.
  • You are afraid you’ll be perceived as whiny or entitled.

Is what people think of you more important than what you desire? If so, you likely value them more than yourself. That’s a problem in and of itself.

You Need Courage to Ask

It takes courage to speak up and ask for what you want. Only bold people say, “I want this,” or ask, “Will you give me that?”

From a spiritual perspective, you can’t expect the Universe or Source to help you manifest something unless you clearly communicate your desire. It’s no different on the physical plane. You can’t expect anyone else to give it to you unless you clearly state your desire.

Of course, you can expect to get it without clearly communicating your desire…but you won’t likely get it.

Boldly Ask…Repeatedly

Sometimes, asking once is not enough. You may have to ask repeatedly. This means braving judgment around your unwillingness to take no for an answer or wait for someone to fulfill your request.

Just today, my plumber thanked me for texting him repeatedly about the work I needed him to do. He said something you may have heard before but did not consider seriously: “The squeaky wheel gets the oil.”

I have called, texted, emailed, or DM’d someone several times in an attempt to get what I wanted. If they don’t like it, they will say so or just not respond. Or they will give in and grant my request.

Usually, they grant my request.

Keep Your Eye on the Prize

Too often, people don’t ask for what they want…especially more than once…because they are focused on what others will think of them. They are more concerned with how they are perceived than getting what matters to them. Again, they value others’ opinions more than themselves and their needs and desires.

You can’t control what others think of you. You can control how you behave, though.

Taking bold action to get what you want helps you achieve your goals and create the things you value. Eventually—when you have what you want—others will look at you with admiration and respect.

Why? You went after what you wanted. And you got it.

They will see you as a role model.

Asking Leads to Receiving…and More

You’ve heard the advice: “If you don’t ask, you won’t receive.” Indeed, you also don’t know if the person you ask can even give you what you want. So asking is like an information-seeking mission.

If one person can’t or won’t give you what you desire, then go on to ask someone else who can. In fact, the person who says “no” to your request might be able to direct you to the person who can say “yes.”

When you stand firm in what you desire—and commit to asking for it—you also develop higher levels of self-trust, self-esteem, and self-confidence. As you probably realize, you will have an easier time asking for what you want in the future as a result.

Learn the Art of Persuasion

Discovering how to clearly communicate your desire is essential, as is learning the art of persuasion. Sometimes, someone might be inclined to say “no,” but you can strategically speak to them to encourage them to say “yes.”

As a Certified High Performance Coach, I teach my clients to be more persuasive. The strategy is really quite simple:

  1. Determine what the other person wants or what matters to them.
  2. Speak to the person’s desire and explain how getting what you want helps them get what they want. Stress that it’s a win-win. (Obviously, you need to figure out how the two correspond.)
  3. Bring emotion into the conversation; help the other person feel excited about giving you what you want or sad about not giving it to you, for instance.

Consider that just giving you what you want might be a win for them…even if doing so simply allows the other person to feel good about giving it to you. Or they might value helping others, and you help them live into that value.

Don’t Let Negative Self-Talk Stop You from Asking

The voice in your head is what stops you from asking for what matters to you. For instance, you might commonly tell yourself things like:

  • I’m not good enough (at asking, communicating, or even receiving what I want).
  • My request is too silly, unimportant, or large for someone to give it to me.
  • I don’t deserve to receive what I want.

All of that is just your brain trying to keep you safe. After all, it’s scary to ask for what you want. You might be told you can’t have it or someone won’t give it to you.

And that self-talk comes from the programming you’ve received during your life. Maybe your parents told you not to ask for things because they couldn’t afford them, said you didn’t deserve what you wanted, or told you that you would ruin whatever you wanted if you actually got it.

That’s in the past. You can reprogram your brain starting in the present.

You can stop listening to and believing your self-talk and what others have said previously. Create a new story that supports you…and helps you ask for what you want.

It’s Spiritual to Ask and Receive

Most spiritual and mystical traditions greatly emphasize the ability to receive what you desire. But you can’t receive anything if you don’t ask for it.

So, ask. And receive. Then, use what you receive for your highest good and the highest good of others. That’s how you use the spiritual rule of reciprocity.

Do you boldly ask for what you want? Please tell me in a comment below, and share this post with someone who might benefit from reading it.

What if you could ask for what matters to you? It’s possible with a transformational coach or Certified High Performance Coach. If you want to be someone who can do the things necessary to create what matters to you, click here and schedule a quick meeting with me. Let’s see if we are a good fit to work together and what type of coaching would best help you get the results you desire.

Photo courtesy of loganban.

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