Everyone has a gift of one sort or another. Therefore, everyone is “gifted,” even you. The only question is, do you know what your gift is…and are you using it?
You may be a talented artist, singer, or writer. Perhaps you are psychic, a healer, or a superb listener. Or you may be an excellent teacher, leader, or advocate for others. Whatever your gift, you wouldn’t have come into this lifetime if you didn’t mean to use it somehow.
You have a gift because you are supposed to use it.
What’s Your Gift?
If you don’t know what your gift is, ask your friends and family what you are good at or what talents you possess. Or consider what you are passionate about and love doing. These are likely your gifts.
You may have one gift…or several. However, one gift will stand out from the rest. You know what it is, but you may have been ignoring it.
Using My Gift
Recently, Jim Fortin pointed out that none of us come into this lifetime with a gift if we don’t mean to use it in some way. His words confirmed what I already knew—writing is my gift, and I need to use that gift.
While I have written and published my work in the past, over the last decade, I chose to make other things more important than using my written words to make a positive and meaningful difference in the world. I allowed circumstances, self-doubt, other people’s opinions, and fear to stop me from writing and publishing a new book.
I never stopped writing altogether. I’ve written a few articles for magazines and consistently published six or seven blog posts per month. But I didn’t pursue my book projects.
I know better now. And when you know better, you can do better, right?
In fact, I’ve been working on my book projects and have started pursuing publication. I noticed that I am happy and excited each time I do anything related to getting my books into the world.
That’s how I know I’m on the right path. I know I’m using my gift and, as a result, fulfilling my purpose.
10 Things That Stop You From Using Your Gifts
I’ve always encouraged my children and clients to pursue their passions and use their talents. As a result, my son became a professional dancer, and my daughter a theater props artisan.
I pursued my gift by becoming a magazine journalist and, later, an editor, blogger, and author.
Yet, many people hold back or feel restricted and don’t fully use their gifts. Maybe you can relate.
If so, it’s not a lack of ability that stops you from using your gift; external factors and internal barriers prevent you from doing so.
What inhibits you from using your gift fully? What stops you from showing the world your talents?
Let’s explore 10 possible reasons you might not use your gift. In the process, you’ll discover how to prevent them from holding you back.
1. Fear of Failure.
Fear of failure represents the most prevalent reason to not use your gift. You might be afraid of how others will perceive you if you try and fail, or you might fear not meeting other people’s expectations.
Generally, fear paralyzes you. It stops you from taking action and pursuing opportunities that could allow you to develop and use your gift.
To overcome this reason, take the age-old advice: Feel the fear and do it anyway. In other words, take bold action. Be courageous.
2. Lack of Self-Confidence
If you lack confidence in your ability to use your gifts, you may feel unable to express them. Self-confidence is a belief in your abilities. Without that belief, you won’t feel comfortable showcasing your talents, and you may even downplay your gift.
You need self-confidence to embrace and leverage your talents. Increased confidence helps you take advantage of opportunities to recognize and enhance your gift.
It seems counterintuitive, but using your gift helps you gain confidence. Even if at first you don’t achieve success, try again! Keep practicing your “art” and sharing it with others. Each time you do, you’ll gain a higher level of self-confidence.
3. Negative Self-Talk
Your internal self-talk impacts your actions and behaviors. Negative self-talk can increase your fear, self-doubt, and lack of confidence. When that happens, you’ll find it challenging to put your unique gift to use.
So, stop telling yourself you aren’t gifted, aren’t good enough, don’t have talent, will fail if you try, or that others will criticize or judge you and your gift. Instead, tell yourself you are gifted, good enough, talented, and can succeed no matter what anyone else says or thinks of your gift. In fact, success is an inside conversation between you and you.
4. External Pressure
External pressure from family, friends, or society also can hinder the use of your gift. Often, such pressures manifest as verbal expectations or judgments about what you should be doing with your gift or your time, energy, and talent. Those you respect or who have influence over you may clearly steer you away from pursuing your gift.
That doesn’t mean you should follow their advice.
Listen to your heart and intuition, and you will know what actions align with using your gift. You also will find certainty; you will know you are here to use your gift.
Plus, other people’s opinions say more about them than you. And their interpretations of your gift are only theirs…and not necessarily accurate.
5. Procrastination
Procrastination offers a way to avoid using your gift. Typically, it’s an avoidance mechanism based on fear. You avoid what you fear, such as failure or judgment.
You already realize that delaying action impedes your ability to use your gift. Procrastination limits your chances to show off your unique gift or jump at opportunities to develop your talents.
What’s the remedy? Stop procrastinating. Take action…use your gift, even in a small way.
6. Lack of Focus
Suppose you are afraid to use your gift or believe others won’t approve of you doing so. In that case, you may focus your attention on other endeavors. (This is a bit like procrastination.)
For instance, you may decide your circumstances require your attention more than figuring out how to express your talents. Also, a lack of clarity about whether or how to use your gift may turn your attention to other tasks.
Until you focus on your gift, you’ll feel challenged to use them effectively. So, dedicate time, energy, and attention to using your talent. Get clear on your gift and how you want to use it. That will prevent you from drifting aimlessly and making little progress—or believing you aren’t gifted.
7. Comparison to Others
Comparison kills motivation. Constantly comparing yourself to others who share a similar gift can make you feel you aren’t as good…and, therefore, shouldn’t try to use your gift similarly.
Keep in mind that your gift is uniquely yours. No one’s talents are precisely the same. So, measuring your worth or skills against someone else’s sheds a negative light on your capabilities and potential.
Stop comparing yourself to anyone. If you must compare, compare your current skill level to the level you’d like to achieve. Compare how you would like to use your gift with how you have been using it.
8. Comfort Zone
You can’t share your gift from your comfort zone. After all, if you’ve been keeping it under wraps, that’s comfortable for you now. To bring them out into the open requires getting a little uncomfortable.
But discomfort is necessary for growth. Your evolution occurs outside of familiar territory.
So, leave comfort behind and push on your boundaries. A little discomfort goes a long way if you want to become someone who shares your gift.
9. Lack of Support
Getting a little encouragement from those you care about or respect can make a lot of difference when trying to do something new. In fact, a lack of encouragement and support often poses a significant obstacle when you try to do something different. That holds true for sharing your gift when you haven’t done so previously.
Remember that the need for cheerleaders is similar to succumbing to external pressure; in both cases, you allow your choices and actions to be influenced by something outside yourself. If you want or need support before you feel you can share your gift, you are looking for external validation.
Yet, support does make any type of change easier. So, surround yourself with people who believe in your abilities and cheer you on. Don’t choose to spend time with the naysayers.
If you don’t have that type of support, don’t let that fact stop you. Instead, be your own cheerleader.
10. Perfectionism
Aiming for perfection is commendable. However, in most cases, it’s an unrealistic pursuit. Plus, a need to be perfect before you share your gifts perpetuates the belief that you and your gift are inadequate.
Not only that, but perfectionism is also an avoidance technique. Perfectionism comes from a fear of not being good enough or being judged for flaws.
Yet, “perfect” is an almost impossible standard. Thus, you’ll never do so if you are waiting for your talents or the product of your gift to be perfect before releasing them to the world.
Be okay with Version 1.0. There will likely be a Version 2.0. In fact, releasing your gift to the world helps you perfect it.
How to Start Using Your Talents and Gifts
You realize that reasons are thinly veiled excuses. If you’ve used any of the reasons mentioned in this post as an explanation or justification for not sharing your gift, it’s time to stop making excuses.
Use any of the strategies above to help you use and share your gift. If you still feel challenged to do so, know that the only thing standing in your way is you—specifically, your beliefs and habits. You can change those by deep-diving into some sort of personal growth or personal development. This could be reading books, taking courses, or hiring a coach.
And keep this in mind: Your gifts are meant to be used…and shared. If that weren’t true, you wouldn’t have been given them in the first place.
Are you using your gifts or talents? If not, why? Please tell me in a comment below, and share this post with someone who might benefit from reading it.
Photo courtesy of yurolaitsalbert.
