You constantly tell stories about who you are. Every day, you share your beliefs about your identity by explaining why you are the way you are. And most of these stories are negative and shine a light on what you likely consider personality flaws.
In fact, you often tell these identity stories as a way to justify why you are the way you are. You blame the past for your current way of being, making excuses for yourself by pointing a finger at the people and experiences that “made you this way.”
These stories might sound like: “I’m not good at technology,” “I’m stupid,” “I never finish what I start,” or “I’ve never been lucky in love.”
You might offer historical details to convince others your stories are valid. For instance, you might say: “I went bankrupt back in 2020; I’m really not a good businessperson,” “My mother always said I was overweight; I am someone who has no will power when it comes to food,” or “I fell and broke my leg when I was 10 and then I tripped and broke my ankle when I was 15; I am just clumsy.”
Sometimes you share these stories with anyone who will listen. Other times, you repeat them to yourself as part of your self-talk.
You perpetuate these identity stories by retelling them. You continue being that person…even if you don’t like the person in the stories.
However, you can change your stories, and as a result, change your identity. That one act changes your experiences and how you see and feel about yourself.
Your Stories are Not True
These statements about your identity feel factual. However, they’re simply stories you’ve repeated so often you believe them to be true.
The stories you tell about yourself are based on past experience, which you interpreted to mean something about who you are. And even though time has passed, you still believe that is who you are. You bring your past interpretations with you into the present, and that becomes your identity.
If you racked up a big credit card bill a decade ago, you may continue to believe you are someone who is not good with money, for example. Or, if a grade school teacher told you that you don’t write well, you may still believe you are someone who can’t write.
These stories aren’t true.
Those things happened; that is true.
Then, you interpreted the event from your perspective or decided what someone said was true. And you continue to believe these experiences reflect who you are.
Give Events New Meaning
The fact that you failed once doesn’t mean you’re destined to fail again. The fact that you struggled with something before doesn’t mean you’ll always struggle with it.
Your stories are interpretations, not facts. They’re based on the meaning you’ve attached to events.
Now, in the present, you can give the events new meaning. Reinterpret them.
That allows you to shift your identity to one based on the present—even the future—rather than the past. You can choose to be someone who is not defined by previous experience and incorrect interpretations.
You Don’t Have to Be Your Past
Most people live as though their identity is cemented in past experiences. You flunked out of 8th grade, and you decide you’re “not smart.” Your first love relationship ended poorly, so you decided you’re “unlovable.” You quit on a goal, and believe you’re “not disciplined.” But your past is not who you are. It’s just what you’ve been through.
Did it shape you? Of course.
Are you your past? No…unless you tell yourself you are.
When you identify with your past, you chain yourself to it, dragging it with you into every new situation. Identify with your present or future instead, and you take yourself into a world of possibilities.
And you can choose, right now, not to be your past. You can decide to stop letting it define you.
How To Change Identities That Hold You Back
To create yourself—and your life— anew, follow these steps.
- Notice the stories you tell. Pay attention to recurring tales you tell about your life that indicate something about who you are.
- Become aware of the statements you make about yourself. Every time you say “I am___,” you state your identity.
- Question the validity of your stories and identity statements. Ask: Is this actually true? Or is it just what I decided to believe back then?
- Find proof that your old stories are untrue. Search your past for experiences that dispute your stories. For instance, if you think you are a bad writer, remember when you got an A on an English essay. If you believe you are someone who often fails to finish what you start, recall a time when you followed through on a project to its completion.
- Choose a new identity. If you want to be someone who is courageous, disciplined, loving, or creative, claim that identity now. Decide to be that person from this moment forward. Declare: “I am ____.”
- Take aligned action. You embody your new identity when you act from who you have chosen to be, even before it feels natural. Adopt the mindset and habits of someone who has that identity.
- Stop telling the old stories. You are no longer that person. So stop identifying with the past you. Leave your past in the past. Focus on being the person you want to be now and in the future.
The Future You is Now
Telling stories about the past as a way to demonstrate who you are keeps you bound to the past and who you were. As you realize, who you say you are or were is a story.
You can change that story in the moment…this moment…now. The present is the place to transform your identity into who you want to be…even need to be to accomplish your goals.
Decide who you need to be now to create what matters to you in the future. That identity will not be based on the past, unless it’s a former version of yourself that was able to achieve the results you desire now.
Choose Who to Be
You can stop being the person you claim to be at any moment. Release old stories, stop recycling the past, and choose a new identity aligned with the life you want to create. Who do you want to be today? Who do you want to be in the future?
Choose that story and tell it often. Tell it until you believe it is true. Live that story. Then, watch your reality change.
Step into a New Identity
You may be ready to stop being the person you claim to be and start becoming who you truly want to be. However, it’s possible you still feel unsure about how to do that. Many people feel that way.
The solution is simple: Get support. Do that as a member of the Inspired Creator Community. This powerful personal and spiritual growth group coaching program provides an environment where diverse individuals come together to shed old stories, claim new identities, and consciously create lives that align with their deepest desires. For six months, they systematically move through the Inspired Creation Method and adopt the identity of “creator.”
Doors to the Inspired Creator Community are open now—but not for long!
- Registration closes September 4
- Early action bonuses disappear August 31
- Only 9 spots remain
- The next opportunity to join isn’t until next year
You realize now that your old stories and old identity don’t serve you. You’ve wanted to stop being the person you claim to be because that person isn’t able to create the things you value or the life of your dreams. But you haven’t been able to accomplish that goal to date.
This is your chance…your opportunity…to be someone different. Choose a new you.
Step into your new identity.
Don’t let your past dictate your future. Start this moment by joining the Inspired Creator Community.
What stories do you tell that currently define you in ways you’d like to change? Tell me why in a comment below. And please share this post with those who might benefit from reading it.
[YouTube video coming soon.]
Image courtesy of gorgev.
