There are a few people in my life who tend to communicate with me out of obligation. They feel like they have to call me on my birthday or my anniversary. It’s not that they really want to call, but they feel they “should” do it to keep up appearances.
Are you one of those people? Do you feel obligated to send someone a Facebook message or an email on their birthday? There’s nothing wrong with doing that, but don’t do it out of obligation.
I’m Supposed To…
There are cases when it’s appropriate to do something because you feel like you’re supposed to. This is often the case with our family members.
But if you have a family member with whom you don’t feel a connected, rethink (and remake) your relationship with them. Develop a true desire to communicate with that person. Be honest, open, and authentic with them.
Change It Up!
With a family member, consider expressing that you want a deeper relationship with them. Reach out and ask, “How can we go to the next level and have a more meaningful relationship?”
You may have a similar issue with your colleagues at work. You feel like you just go through the motions with them. If so, consider reaching out and saying, “I would really prefer to have a more honest and authentic relationship with you. What would it take to do that?”
Re-Evaluate Your Relationships
If the person you approach won’t accept your request, you need to evaluate the value of that relationship. Do they care enough about their relationship with you? Is the relationship worth maintaining? Will it liberate you to let go of that relationship?
With family, we usually choose to maintain obligatory relationship (although we do not have to do so), but with friends and colleagues we may be able to free ourselves from that obligation.
Of course, I don’t want to encourage you to end a relationship that is valuable to you. If you can change the relationship to make it more authentic, that is a better solution than losing someone important to you.
I challenge you to apply act from desire and be authentic in your relationships. Take the challenge by focusing on one relationship that you want to feel more real. It’s not always easy, but doing so will improve your communication with others and will strengthen your own self-esteem.
Avoid being false and fake with your daily interactions. Strive to act from desire and not obligation.
When do you feel it’s necessary to act out of obligation rather than desire?
Don’t wait! It’s your time…now…to level up so you can achieve your potential, fulfill your purpose and live your life fully.