How often have you said, “I can’t do that because…” Fill in the blank with any reason you prefer, like “I don’t have enough time,” “I don’t have enough money,” “I am over-committed,” “I have to do X, Y, or Z,” “My mother, father, kids, partner, boss, or friend won’t like it,” “I’m too tired,” or “I don’t have the energy. Each time you say something like this, you make yourself a victim of your circumstances. You give your power away to something outside yourself.
Circumstances are external conditions or situations that can influence your life—if you let them. While some circumstances are unavoidable, how you react to them shapes your experience.
React to them as a victim, and you will experience victimhood. Respond to them as a powerful creator, and you will experience your ability to create different circumstances you like more.
Stop Blaming Circumstances
If you want to create the life of your dreams and the things that really matter to you, stop blaming circumstances for why you haven’t created these things. It’s not the circumstances’ fault; it’s yours.
Plain and simple, placing blame on your circumstances is an excuse for not standing in your power and creating something different and preferable. It’s a way to remain stuck rather than doing something to change your circumstances.
Are you ready to stop placing fault outside yourself and take responsibility for creating different circumstances? If so, it’s time to start dealing with them more productively.
Stop Letting Circumstances Rule Your Life
Life is unpredictable. Sometimes, you will find yourself at the mercy of external circumstances. Life will “life,” and you will have to deal with that circumstance—like it or not.
Notice that I wrote “deal with” instead of “blame it.” When you are faced with a job loss, relationship issues, health challenges, car accidents, or death in the family, you have a choice. You can see these unforeseen circumstances as roadblocks or opportunities. You can observe that, for some reason, you created this experience, or you can believe that “bad things” always happen to you. It’s God’s will, bad luck, or the Universe playing a bad joke on you.
You might feel as if these circumstances are out of your control. But if you surrender to them, you feel helpless. If you blame them, you feel powerless.
Instead, realize that you can change your circumstances. It’s always possible, especially if you stand in your power and freely choose to create something different.
Take responsibility, and admit that if you created “this” circumstance, you can create a different one.
You are a powerful creator. You can decide what circumstance you prefer and find a way to create that instead.
You can Create Different Circumstances
Indeed, you are a creator. It’s who you are at your core.
You create all the time. Often, you create things you do not want, like circumstances you don’t like. You may do this without awareness or because of habitual subconscious beliefs that influence what you attract.
And sometimes sh*t happens, and these experiences don’t feel like your “creations.” But on some level, you have attracted them into your experience, even if only to learn and grow.
The first step in your evolution is to realize that if you attracted something you don’t like into your experience, you can create something different.
Become Aware of Your Self-Talk
Start creating a different circumstance by becoming aware of your self-talk. Reflect on your inner dialogue.
What stories are you telling yourself about your circumstances? Are you saying, “It’s his/her fault,” “I can’t change this,” “This is out of my control,” or “I’m someone who this always happens to”? If so, you are perpetuating your circumstances. Not only that, but you are also creating more circumstances you don’t want or like.
Create a different narrative. Change your self-talk.
Remind yourself you are a creator. Then, develop a plan to create something different.
Start by changing your stories about your circumstances. And, if nothing less, take responsibility for your reaction to your circumstances. That alone puts you in the powerful place of being able to choose a response to your situation.
Explore Your Circumstances
List all the circumstances currently in your life that you don’t like. Then list the negative thoughts you have related to them.
However, don’t just explore the thoughts you have now. Remember your thoughts before the circumstances show up in your life.
For example, if your current circumstance is that you have no income because you lost your job, consider if you told all your friends you hated that position and wished you didn’t have to work at that company? If so, you can see how your words, emotions, and focus created your current circumstances.
You can blame your boss, who fired you, or your bad luck. You can point the finger at yourself and repeat your story that you are never appreciated and your hard work goes unnoticed, but that won’t help you change your circumstances.
Changing your stories will. Stop telling stories that contain excuses, reasons, and blame. Instead, take responsibility—at least for the fact that you created your circumstances. Admit that you were asking the “Universe” to get you out of that job…but you weren’t specific about what you truly wanted.
Then, tell stories about how you turned your circumstances around—or are in the process of doing so. Think back to a time when you were appreciated for your hard work and got promoted; affirm that your next job will provide you with similar opportunities. Tell yourself you are an amazing job magnet and can’t wait to find the perfect position.
You are Not at the Mercy of Circumstance
Life will always present challenges, but you have the power and freedom to move past them. You can create different circumstances.
You are not at the mercy of your circumstances—unless you give your power away to them. As soon as you say, “I can’t change this because it has power over me,” you become a victim.
Choose a new, powerful response—rather than an old blaming reaction. Shape your life with your choices and actions, not with your circumstances.
If you aren’t sure how to stand in your power as a creator and change your circumstances, I’d like to invite you to join the Inspired Creator Community. The doors are now open for the September 2024 through February 2025 session.
And watch the free replays of my recent “Create What Really Matters to You” masterclass. They cover many tips on how to avoid being a victim of your circumstances.
Are you a victim of your circumstances? Tell me in a comment below. And please share this post with someone who might benefit from reading it.
Photo courtesy of yupachingping.
